Mon 9 Dec 2002

Here I am, a marathon trainee without a marathon. And without any training to do, indeed.

The very best thing about the Hal Higdon training programmes is that they start with a rest day. Tomorrow, and the two days after that, I'll be getting out at lunchtime for a gentle 3 mile run, but today I am officially recovering from yesterday's non-existent exertions. It's my kinda training regime, this.

Even better, getting into the car this morning, I was delighted to feel a slight twinge in my right knee. That could become a splendid excuse if the weather remains this cold.

Had a just-fancy-that email from a fellow QPR fan, Nik Blowfield, this evening, correctly identifying the park/golf-course where I hope to be doing some lunchtime running over the next few weeks. It transpires that this is the very place that Nik does his running too; he'd recognised it from my previous description.

I must warn Nik to watch out for the fearful sight of me trying to get back into the swing of it. It's bad enough him being a QPR fan at the moment, without having this additional anxiety.

Tues 10 Dec 2002

Another lunchtime run, on the day that marks the start of the Hal Higdon training programme for runners of London 2003.

I thought it was cold last week, but wow, I wonder how many novice marathoners are beginning to envy those whose rejection letters have been arriving in the last few days?

Imagine taking a turkey out of the oven on Christmas Day and sticking it straight into the freezer. Today, I was that turkey.

The small office I'm working in has a heating problem, and today the temperature must have been in the 90s. By one o'clock I was fed up with it, and decided to go for my run. And so a few moments after emerging from the sauna of the office, I found myself, half naked, in the car park, in temperatures hovering around freezing point.

Crikey! I was too cold to realise that I should have been unhappy. I think my misery glands must have been instantly frozen as I staggered into the world outside - a bit like those peas in the TV adverts. Before I knew it I was walking quickly, then sort of ambling, and I don't recall much else.

I do recollect coming across three aliens from outer space. Hooded figures, stumbling about, seemingly unable to see through their protective garb. Don't ask me what gender or age they were. As I tottered past, I think I heard one of them sort of moan and croak: "Greetingzzz, Earthlinggg. We are visitorzzz from Planet Zarkonnn. We are hungreee. Take us to your larderrr. I mean, leaderrr.."

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not normally averse to administering a spot of inter-galactic diplomacy in my lunchtime, but today I was otherwise engaged.

Not much else happened. Probably. I've been trying to defrost the few fragments of memory that remain from the jaunt. I saw a dog in a tree. Or did I? Some pigeons the size of... pigeons. And an elderly lady waving a copy of the Daily Mail at a bush.

In the meantime, I ran for 42 minutes, which I am going to class as three and a half miles as it was an exceedingly leisurely jog.

Oh God, another run tomorrow. With a bit of luck I'll be bitten by a rabid spider in the night.

Wed 11 Dec 2002

No run today after all. That twinge in my knee was muttering to me all morning, and I thought it best not to risk it.

Now then, I know what you're thinking, and it's just not true. It was bitterly disappointing not to have another out-of-body, out-of-mind potter round my deep-frozen lunchbreak. In any case, I made up for it this evening by doing 40 minutes on the little-used exercise-bike, transfixed by the sight of Gary Rhodes' cooking as I did so. I must have put on a couple of pounds just watching that programme.

I've rediscovered the kitchen in the last couple of weeks, partly because food becomes much more interesting when you're trying to avoid it, and partly because I recently bought a cut-price Bamix on eBay, so I've been making smoothies and soups and anything else that's the result of smashing perfectly good food to a pulp. Not unhealthy, and easy to fool yourself into thinking that you're being terribly creative. Well, we can't all be a Raymond Blanc or an Ian Painter.

The Bamix is usually around Ł90, but I found someone selling brand-new ones for Ł30 each. I was convinced there'd be something wrong with it, but no, seemingly not.

But if I'm reduced to discussing bargain kitchen appliances, it must be time for bed.

Good night.

Thurs 12 Dec 2002

I ventured into the Promised Land today. This is the section of the park on the other side of the dual carriageway.

Not sure why I called it that. It just appeared faintly mysterious and enticing on the few occasions that I've run past the small suspension bridge and glanced across at the Other Side. Today... today I made that journey.

The pain in my right knee was flickering all morning, but I risked it. In the light of my recent experience, I upped the ante in the garb stakes today. Not only my Ron Hill leggings made their seasonal debut, but a woolly hat as well. Yes, of course I felt like an idiot. It was hard to make eye-contact with anyone I met on the initial path leading past the lake and up beyond the clubhouse, and if I'd heard anyone snigger as they'd passed, I might have burst into tears. Or beaten them up. Not sure which.

Major obstacle on the first stretch of sandy path was a... a large teenage girl leading two horses towards the riding school. As I finally squeezed past, I was struck by the observation that their backsides were all about the same size. This reminded me of the anecdote related in Private Eye some years ago about the state visit of Idi Amin, then President of Uganda. The Queen and Amin were in a horse-drawn carriage on the way from Victoria to Buckingham Palace. Halfway up the Mall, one of the horses released a cataclysmically loud fart. The embarrassed queen giggled and apologised to Amin who allegedly replied "Don't worry, Your Majesty, I thought it was the horse..."

The path along here is waterlogged and rutted, and needs to be negotiated with care. But a pleasant change from tarmacked roads, as is the absence of cars. I could happily get used to running here at luchtimes, with longer weekend runs along the canal at home.

Eventually I reached the bridge and this time, decided to cross it. The Promised Land is filled with warm sunshine and the laughter of children and plump, golden grapes hanging from the overflowing vines. Sadly, that's a different Promised Land. This one is a collection of pot-holed football pitches and gritty paths. I saw a teenaged girl with some dogs, reading a copy of Jackie magazine in the drizzle, and later, an elderly chap pushing a pram, looking rather dazed. As well he might.

But that was it. It was a pleasant-enough adventure, and no doubt I'll be back. The park is undulating, with a couple of modest hills. This adds a little variety to my routine, and will work on new muscles, making me stronger. That's what it says here. On the downside is the fact that they are still bloody hills.

I ran for 40 minutes, including a couple of minutes' walk in the middle when I got a slight stitch. For the last quarter mile or so, I upped the pace to my version of sprinting, and just about made it. I'm around 5 pounds lighter than I was 6 days ago, and beginning to feel fitter already. Still a long way to go before I'm in pre-Chicago condition (which, to be honest, wasn't that great), but I'm definitely back on track.

I keep saying that 2003 will be marathon-free, but I have had the very faintest of twinges of curiosity about Dublin in October...

Sun 15 Dec 2002

This throbbing knee is beginning to worry me slightly. It was painful enough to make me consider not running at all today, though eventually I decided to do my usual 3.67 local circuit, just to keep the blood flowing. When I run, I can't feel the knee aching at all; it's only when I stop that it appears.

Little to report. It was a cool, damp morning. Grey and uninviting. I felt a little fitter again today, and did the distance in under 40 minutes. Not fast by most standards, but a full 5 minutes faster than the same run ten days ago, so that has to be a good sign.

Next week >