+- RunningCommentary.net Forums (http://www.runningcommentary.net/forum)
+-- Forum: Main (http://www.runningcommentary.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Forum: Playground (http://www.runningcommentary.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Thread: Governmentium (/showthread.php?tid=90)
Governmentium - Seafront Plodder - 05-03-2009
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the most dense element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "critical morass". When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. :RFLMAO:
Governmentium - Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 06-03-2009
:rflmao:
Governmentium - Sweder - 07-03-2009
Excellent piece. Never more so than right now.
Interest rates at 0.5%, printing 75 billion quid . . . anyone heard of Japan?
Been there, done that, reaped the whirlwind. Last one out switch off the lights
On a cheerier note . . . seems messrs Pitt and Tarantino have colluded on a curious WWII motion picture.
I have no idea if this'll be any good, but here's a trailer . . .
Governmentium - Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 07-03-2009
As much as I like Brad Pitt and Mr Tarantino, I think I'll be giving this a miss.
Governmentium - Seafront Plodder - 09-03-2009
Governmentium - Sweder - 09-03-2009
Shifty bugger. Looking for a place next to Nixon in the pantheon of great political squirmers. reminds me of those TV Evangelists we saw on the telly in South Carolina. Can I get an amen?