Elfin' Safety

[Seafront Plodder]

I was in town yesterday when I encountered Santa in his sleigh raising money for the local Lions Club. I feel it my duty to make a few points:-

1) He was NOT wearing a safety harness.

2) He was NOT wearing a Hi-Vis jacket.

3) He was NOT wearing a safety helmet.

4) There were no warning signs anywhere near Santa.

5) I asked the Lions Club fund raiser with the money bucket standing near by:
a) if he had attended a lifting heavy weights course as he was in charge of a heavy bucket? he had NOT.
b) had Santa been fully CRB checked? The Lions bucket man did not know.

What's going on? Why does this Lions Club appear to have such a slap-dash attitute towards public safety?

I also noted that "Santa" was shouting "Ho Ho Ho." Could this not offend American tourists who may think that Santa is calling for a prostitute?

Where's me clipboard.

[Sweder]

There are, it seems, more questions than answers.
Here are a few sent to me by my good friend Mr Tippett:

If a deaf person goes to court is it still called a hearing?

Why is it that Superman stops bullets with his chest yet ducks when people throw things at him?

Who's idea was it to put an 's' in the word 'lisp'?

At the Paralympics do they have reserved parking spaces for 'abled' people?

How did we put a man on the moon before we figured out we needed wheels on luggage?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say:
'I think I'll squeeze those pink dangly things and drink whatever comes out' ?

Why do people point at their wrist when asking the time but not their bottom when asking for the bathroom?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make the lift arrive faster?