Ashes 3rd Test

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Pretty exciting morning here, with the start of the third test just a few hours away now. The miracle news is of course the selection of Andrew Symonds, one of our best one-day heroes, but a paradoxical failure in the test arena. With 10 tests for a batting average of 19 and a bowling average of something over 40, everyone figured his test playing days were all behind him. But there you are - cricket's a funny game, and sometimes selectors make funny choices. But it'll be extremely interesting to see how he goes.

I'm hoping we might finally get to see Panesar this test. Although, from what we've seen of him in the minor games thus far, I really wonder if he can live up to all the Monty hype. Well no, of course not - no-one can ever exceed the expectations of the media of course, but it could be a very difficult assignment for him. The WACA pitch has softened up considerably in recent years, but it's still far from being a spinner's paradise.

Whatever, it'll be another entertaining match.

Happy happy.

[Seafront Plodder]

England still need 7 runs to avoid the follow-on.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

England still need 7 runs to avoid the follow-on.

Good to see you taking an interest Andy

Monty Panadol had a good day, didn't he? I'd love to know what he said to Duncan Fletcher at the end of play...!

[Sweder]

Good to see you taking an interest Andy

Monty Panadol had a good day, didn't he? I'd love to know what he said to Duncan Fletcher at the end of play...!

'I'll have a pint Dunc, ta very much' I should imagine.
He's a pretty modest fellow is Monty. His bowling earlier today was ordinary at best - two of his wickets were rank long-hops which should have been banished to the boundary instead of feathered to the 'keeper. But then Monty is like another of our favoured sons, Beefy; not always the best technically, but he makes things happen. In a few short hours you'll get to watch him bat. Now there's a treat

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

But then Monty is like another of our favoured sons, Beefy; not always the best technically, but he makes things happen. In a few short hours you'll get to watch him bat. Now there's a treat

How true that was! He and Harmison put most of the other batsmen to shame - a very polished, very batsman-like and very entertaining partnership at the end there.

However I think any demons that were in the pitch may have been vanquished now. Unless Monty PanamaCanal can really step it up (and perhaps he can) I suspect Australia are going to set England a very large chase. But for the sake of the series let's hope not.

But I'm not sure Sweder that you can really lump Monty in the same class as Beefy just yet?!

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Hmm, it suddenly got very quiet in here...

I wouldn't give up all hope people - both Monty and Skunk were getting a lot of turn yesterday. This might just yet become an interesting pitch, although I concede the more likely outcome is a concrete batting beauty, with Australia making 500+ and England crumbling into a dishevelled heap of gibbering, drooling uselessness.

Or, you might choose to disagree with me. South Africa did so last year on the same pitch. Same conditions, very similar circumstances, and they batted for a day and half to hold out for a draw.

But England? Nah.

[El Gordo]

Hmm, it suddenly got very quiet in here...

To be honest, in terms of the cricket, I don't think it was ever terribly noisy.

I wouldn't give up all hope people - both Monty and Skunk were getting a lot of turn yesterday.

Australians seem awfully keen to tell me (and more significantly -- themselves) just what a great chance England have to retain the Ashes.



Stop deluding yourself, MLCM.

The sooner you face up to the truth, the better....

---

[El Gordo]

Just seen Panesar get Hayden for 92 [chortle], and I must to bed....

Australia 206-3 at the moment, so let's face the truth -- England have to spend the best part of 2 days batting to have any chance of retaining the Ashes. (i.e. they'd have to win the last 2 matches...)

In the golden days of Boycott (whose commentary has been a painful delight, as always), I'd have mopped my brow with relief at the prospect of us batting out a draw. He was a batsman who knew how to spend 6 hours scoring 20 runs. Awful to watch (on his own admission) but it saved us Test matches. We've forgotten how to do that.

It's an awful thought to go to sleep with, but I fear that when, or indeed if, I wake up, all will be lost.

A good job I hate cricket, eh?

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Stop deluding yourself, MLCM.

The sooner you face up to the truth, the better....
---

And this is exactly why you guys aren't winning - you don't believe you can. ironically perhaps, we Aussies believe you can because we know you've got the talent, and you've done it before. But for some reason you guys just don't get it.

Anyway, after seeing Hayden and Ponting set the foundation, then Hussey and Clarke demolish the new ball, and Gilchrist's astonishing piece of wizardry (and as much as I like Monty, Gilly's 6-6-4-6 off four successive Monty deliveries was unforgettable) - and second only to Viv Richards for the fastest test century - it is a big ask for England to now retain the Ashes.

But unless you believe it's possible, it doesn't matter how much talent you've got, yeah?

Let's face - you only lost day 3 because of your fielding. The bowlers all did well, but you dropped a heap of catches. Had you held those, it's not improbable that you could have had Oz out for around 300. Then you definitely would have won the test. So despite everything, maybe the difference in skill level is not that great. But on the self-belief scales, England just aren't registering.

[El Gordo]

The great (and annoying) thing about test cricket is that you very rarely get a freak result. Quality wins in the end, however positive your attitude. One of the things I like about football is that a relatively useless team can win a cup match, and even the cup itself. Everything hinges on a frantic 90 minutes.

In cricket, anyone can have a great day with the bat or the ball, and even an entire side can have a good day. But to win a 5 day match, and even more, to win the series, you have to be the better team. Australia are manifestly the better team. In my view. If we were talking about 1 day internationals, I'd be more optimistic.

That isn't to say that England are rubbish. They're a decent side, who can beat most international teams, but let's face it, the Aussies are better. It's no secret. They dominate world cricket, and seem to have done ever since the days of the great West Indian teams of the 70s and 80s.

If there was a composite Australia-England side how many England players would be in it? Perhaps Pietersen. Perhaps Flintoff for his matiness. I like Collingwood a lot, but Australia don't need any extra batsmen. Perhaps Harmison if (BIG IF) you could guarantee the top part of his game.

Our only hope is that the spirit of Geoff Boycott can descend for the next day, and that we have a torrential storm on the last day. If they only avoid playing any shots. It would be very boring to watch, but it could save us and let us regroup.

While I'm getting this off my chest, I may as well say that while I think Australia are better cricketers, I hate the intimidation and the verbal abuse that seems to be an endemic part of the Australian cricketing psyche. What's that all about? Why do the umpires tolerate this? Maybe we'd have a better cricket match if Warne could keep his mouth shut and concentrate on the real sport. But ok, that's a side issue.

[Sweder]

Maybe we'd have a better cricket match if Warne could keep his mouth shut and concentrate on the real sport. But ok, that's a side issue.

Right on, brother Andy.

It's not sour grapes either - I happen to believe Warne is the best bowler in the best test cricket side I've seen. But his infuriating bad-boy tantrum-throwing belies his talent. Like another winner who never fails to plant his size nine in his piehole despite his teams' ability to win, Warne seems intent on tarnishing his fantastic reputation with nonesense.

I'm thinking of re-writing The Owl And the Pussycat, featuring Warney and Jose and a fully-loaded lurking U-boat . . .

. . . 185 for 2.
I smidgeon of self-belief there then.







Sorry, for 3 - Collingwood's gone . . .

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Fair go there fellas - all sides sledge, and Australia would be a distant third to South Africa and Pakistan in my book. Anyway, your Mr.Pietersen is far and away the biggest sledger of this series - he taunted both batsmen whilst bowling on day one, and he wasn't just commenting on the quality of their hair cuts either. At one stage Mathew Hayden seemed genuinely rattled by the Skunk's taunts ... and that's precisely why they do it. Like it or not, it's part of the game, and everyone does it - England not least of all.

Anyway, the series is all done and dusted now, with all interest gone. Your guys did really, really well ... until it really, really counted, then they crumpled

You need Simon Jones, you need Vaughn and you need Read... and with Geraint Jones making a pair, that last selection may have just made itself.

You can console yourself with the knowledge that the current Australian team is an absolute rip-snorter, with two truly great bowlers, a left-handed Bradman (almost) in Hussey, the Herculian Ponting and the best ever wicket-keeper batsman in Gilchrist... not an easy team to beat.

Unfortunately, you also know that you can beat them, but did not. But there you go, it's all way too late now. Maybe you can win the one-day series ... not that anyone ever remembers who wins those things anyhow, but you must take consolation where you can.

Well ta-ra then. I'm off to gloat somewhere else now

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Warne seems intent on tarnishing his fantastic reputation with nonesense.

Are you serious Sweder? The only reputation Warne has here is that he's a complete tosser and an utter drop-kick, and every Australian is just thankful that he lives in England. If he wasn't the world's greatest wicket-taker we'd have disowned him aeons ago. The guy's a moron.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Not sure if it's because he read my last post that Warnie's decided to chuck it all in, but I'd better say something nice about him, as I was a little harsh last time.

A mate of mine said that our father's generation had been privileged to be around for the Bradman era, and it is our privilege to be around for the Warne era. I'm not sure that it's quite the same thing, but I do fondly remember some magical Warne tests, and it's always something of a thrill to be there when he comes on to bowl - there's an air of expectation few others muster.

Whatever, I'll be cheering when he gets his 700th wicket in the Melbourne test next week. As Ian Healey and Adam Gilchrist have both been heard to say countless times over the years, "Nice one, Warnie."

[Sweder]

Shayne Warne is many things and certainly not all of them savoury, but in cricketing terms he's a genius. For those who think that's bandying a word like 'genius' around a little too easily I defer to the great Ritchie Beneaud who used the term to describe the loud-mouthed pie-eater. Personally I prefer the term 'wizard' - the bloke manages to strike fear into the hearts of men where moments before all was calmness and serenity (OK, perhaps not but you catch my drift).

I won't miss his ridiculous hystrionics (for which he should have been slung out of the current series) but then are not most genii (geniuses? ), at least in sporting terms, flawed? Ali, Best, Senna, they all had self-inflicted burdens to lug through their remarkable careers.

I see McGrath is also bailing out, post-World Cup in his case.
Only a cynic would suggest he is doing so only because his much repeated 'whitewash' prediction has a very real chance of coming true this time. On the subject of painful Aussie boasting (yes, you Glenn) I recently received a number of jolly japes aimed at our brave boys from some beer-swilling, fly-swatting toad in Coffs Harbour. Here's a sample:

Q: What d'you call an Englishman with 100 against his name?
A: A bowler

Q: What is the height of optimism?
A: An English batsman applying sunscreen

Q: What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A: A bat

There are plenty more where that came from, but you get the idea.
Sigh. Oh well, I suppose we've got a couple of dead rubbers to 'enjoy' now.
That and the last two tests . . . eye thangyow!