Jose Mourinho's Dog

[Sweder]

Sounds like a name for an Indie band but this is the best story of the day so far. The Special One was cautioned last night after an altercation with police following the disappearance of the Mourinho family mut.

The avalanche of japes on the radio this morning include a cracker about Didier Dogba and Jose's bitch. One wag suggested 'he scampers about whining and scratching all the time, desperate for attention . . . but we don't know much about the dog.'

My own theory is that 'Lamps' was last seen scuttling off with his passport between his teeth, headed for southern Spain . . .

Cue a heavy mailbag at Fiver Towers . . .