A renewed burst of enthusiasm has again got me thinking about this running malarkey, so it's time again to wear my mid life crisis on my running shorts for all to gawk at and wonder about...
As I was bouncing along on the treadmill this evening, in between keeping half an eye on Rocky II which was playing on the teev and trying not to slip on my badly-needing-replacement treadmill mat, I was considering again why I do this running thing at all. And I got to thinking back many yonks ago when I helped produce a radio doco on juvenile delinquents. The programme was based around two weeks worth of interviews recorded inside a juvenile detention centre. At one point the man in charge of the centre was asked a very simple question to which he gave a rather profound answer. When asked why kids stole cars, he answered simply "Because they're good at it - we all tend to do things we're good at. That's all there is to it." It's an insight that has stayed with me, and which makes me wonder why I took up (and largely persist with) running, when clearly I am not naturally much good at it.
When we're good at something, motivation is not really a problem, but when we try to attempt something we're not necessarily well equipped for, it requires rather large amounts of determination and effort. And this only works so long as the perceived benefit outweighs the cost of attaining it.
In other words, you'd better have a darn good reason for attempting something as difficult as training for a marathon if you are to stand a snowball's chance in Hades of withstanding the barrage of pain, anguish and torment that comes with the required training.
So I have an ever compounding problem: I'm not naturally gifted as a runner; I have no real idea of what I'm hoping to achieve (well I have my reasons but they're rather vague, to be honest); and I am getting ever older - a rather unsavoury fact about which my increasingly crappy knees are forever reminding me*.
I've been looking at my very modest running achievements to date, which essentially amount to a rather pathetic collection of motley race bibs, a small bundle of finisher's certificates and precisely
two race medallions. I've also run a half marathon distance exactly twice, and only in training. Some, probably
many people here at RC will run more distance in a year than I have ever run (well, in my adult life anyway). And I think it's because I always seem to end up in a cycle of futility:
- Motivation.
- Enthusiasm as fitness improves.
- Motivation fades to determination as the training becomes plain hard work.
- Something (usually injury) breaks the training cycle.
- I feel good! I still have the benefits of fitness but without the pain of constant training.
- Motivation and determination fade as the benefits of training are perceived to be less.
- Lethargy rears its ugly head.
- I became unfit and slovenly again.
Because I never get good enough at it, I'm constantly seeking the motivation required to get out there and do it... and so the cycle seems doomed to repeat itself.
BUT, one thing about the aging process is that you can't reverse it. So if I'm ever going to do anything significant, I always feel as if I've got to give it my best shot *this time*.
I honestly don't know if I want to run a marathon - I've done enough running to know it's going to be very difficult for me; but I do still feel that I should attempt either a marathon or the full-blown run of the
Point to Pinnacle race which I am proud to have race-walked, but would still love to run. Difficult, but. I was well on the way last year when illness (which at least makes a change from injury) destroyed my training schedule and I found it too difficult to ramp up the training to compensate for the lost time. So, perhaps this year? It's a big thing though - it's a lot of work, and life always manages to throw so many obstacles at it that without that very clear reason for doing it, it's not going to happen even if I remain injury-free.
Well there
are two big motivating factors inherent in my (relatively) new digs: from my living room window I have a commanding view of the pinnacle in question - Mount Wellington, and the road that winds up its slope. The desire to run that sodding thing is genuinely strong. And the other view that inspires me is from my kitchen window, which is a view of the local cemetery...
(Heavy sigh). So here we go again. We're away. I'll keep you posted.
MLC Man.
P.S. My best
track du jour of late has to be New York Dolls'
Personality Crisis 
*
Gratuitous use of semicolons designed deliberately to elicit annoyance from Andy; among other reasons.
April Bloody April, Nothing Rhymes With April.
