July

[Sweder]

Man, this is a crazy town.

Go to Starbucks
Got Fifty bucks?
For Monster Trucks
Woman's butt's stuck
Down on your luck
Don’t give a f*ck

Gas-guzzlin’ cars
Boob job scars
Men from Mars
Topless bars
One-under pars
Hardy-Har-Hars

Silicon horror everywhere
Platinum hair
Wild-eyed stares
Stocks n shares
Big cab fares
No-one cares

Don’t chastise me
Criticise me
Tell lies about me
Terrorise me
Eroticise me
Supersize me

Kalifornia baby, livin' The American Dream.

Took to the tready this lunchtime for some soul re-alignment. Hit the 10K button and flogged out a sweaty one in fifty-three minutes, i-pod cranked, CNN news ticker running across the screen in front of me. What a selection, a cross-section of what America needs to know:

[COLOR="Purple"]Obama ‘less patriotic than McCain’ say voters
Angelina Jolie checks into Hospital, France, to give birth to twins
Tiger Woods ‘had sore knee for twelve years’ before recent surgery
Barstow: man charged with assault after hitting mother in head with three pound Polish sausage
Prince Charles’ car ‘to run on recycled wine’
Williams Sisters rule Wimpleton
Ford sales of new cars down 28%
Gas (petrol) ‘over four dollars a gallon in many States’ *
Man ‘loses will to live’ on LA treadmill[/COLOR]

Hm, let’s link to that last story shall we?

Jock McSwede, a big-eared lardy 'bloke' from Loowis in England-shire, Europe, had a near-death experience in a Los Angeles hotel gym this Tuesday lunchtime.
‘I was chuggin’ away on the tready’ said McSwede, tugging his forelock and adjusting his coal-smeared sack clothing ‘when all of a sudden I ‘ears the door go an’ blow me dahn if me will to live ain’t done and scarpered, if ya like Guv’nor’
McSwede dashed from the gymnasium to find his errant soul sucking down a supersized Gin and Tonic at the bar next to a large Lizard and several life-size Barbie Dolls.

[SIZE="1"]Dick Van Dyke, CNN, Los Angeles International Airport[/SIZE].

The Fear and Loathing has started. Tomorrow morning I mount my trusty steed and head into the Nevada desert for the four-hour sunrise dash for Vegas. I’m told the temperature will hit 100 ‘somewhere around 10:30’ – I’m beginning to think the convertible was a poor choice. Fried lard anyone?

Track du jour: Spizz Energy Where's Captain Kirk.

* [SIZE="1"]our petrol is just under eleven US dollars a gallon[/SIZE]