August

[Sweder]

Finally caught up with my physio last week. She checked the errant knobbly joint and proclaimed a minor patella infringement and a possibly faulty fat-pad (no sniggering please). Net result, no running for a while. Suggested alternatives: cycling and any non-impact exercise. My immediate response is to sit on my rapidly growing backside during the first of two weeks off to soak up every broadcast minute of the 2008 Olympics. In between bouts of vomiting over the blatant worship of some American swimmer who happens to have been born with exceptionally large feet I've enjoyed a wide variety of British failures, from the almost-rans in the archery to the simply awful capitulation of our Judo squad.

I'm not one to put much stock in the national medal tally. As governments like to cherry-pick crime statistics so the BBC choses to view the medal tables in such a way as to keep team GB on the front page. We're a small nation still healthily over-achieving in a rapidly developing sporting world. It's great to see British athletes, until recently starved of decent funding and training facilities, going toe to toe with some of the world's finest. In these uncertain economic times, with summer peeping nervously out from behind the gathering storm clouds of burgeoning inflation and tightening global tension, it can be useful to fall back on the achievements of our brave sporting talent socking it to the world out in big old ugly old China as a ready-made masses-opiate. I'm not buying it; the Olympics are a fantastic showcase for global sport, not a prop for ailiing governments. Forget the medal tables, forget Sue Barker and her carefully scripted jingoism. Focus instead on the incredible performances of our individual atheletes. Oh, and is anyone else heartily sick of hearing 'it's been great experience for 2012'? Pa-leeese.

One observation on the hosts. The little girl shown clearly miming to angelic singing at the opening ceremony was apparently inserted at the last minute after organisers deemded the actual singer, a seven year from Beijing, 'too ugly' to represent China. I've been to Beijing several times and I can tell you your average local ain't no oil painting. For shame.