Ashes to Ashes

[Sweder]

Clearly some kind of ugly, twisted conspiracy here :mad:

First up some loutish Aussie sets off a fire alarm in the England team hotel at 4am.
Sky's commentary team announce it would be 'great' if Australia won here as it would create the ultimate decider at the Oval.
Someone looking horribly like Shayne Warne chucks a ball at Matt Prior, sending him into horrendous back spasm.
Ponting takes the cowardly option of calling 'tails' handing Strauss the poisoned chalice of a won toss in tricky conditions.
TV and radio queue up six deep to interview Strauss seconds before he opens the batting.
England's bowlers, despite seeing Clarke and Siddle bowl the perfect, pitched-up line, start throwing ugly, looping, long-hop pies.

And to top it all off SP confesses last night over drinks that for the first time in his miserable life he sat down to watch the cricket.

Bah! :mad:

[SIZE="1"]NB: some of the above feeble excuses may have been fabricated/ embelished for effect. SP did however watch the cricket. He's clearly watching again this morning ...[/SIZE]