August 2011

[Sweder]

In my own corner of the lower reaches of the pyramid, Maidenhead started with two successive 4-0 drubbings but have now picked things up and are sitting 5th. Come the end of the season I expect they'll still be hovering around the edge of the zone - but probably the one at the other end of the table...

I'm pleased you mentioned non league - or what I now prefer to call 'proper' - football. I've just become an owner of Lewes CFC under their community ownership scheme. For the princely sum of thirty sovs I get to vote, am eligable to stand for election to the board and I get to wear a swanky owner's badge whilst downing a pint of Lewes Nectar at the interval.

I've taken up the position of in-match Twittentator, tweeting live updates from matches. This has coincided with something of a streak of good form - unbeaten in 4, joint 6th in the table - after a disappointing loss on the opening day away to 10-man Lowestoft. Since then the Rooks have recorded home wins v Met Police and Billericay Town, an away win at Horsham and, last night, a hard-earned point v league-leaders Hendon. As I'm currently in Hong Kong I covered yesterday's match via surrogate tweets from home and away fans, lacing together a 'balanced view' from the shouts of opprobrium, outrage and moral indignation flying in from both sides.

Covering matches in person is much harder. One has to rely on surrounding Pan-ites for audible clues to a change in the action whilst typing the next missive. A sharp intake of breath requires a glance up. With an almost entirely new team to get to know you're looking for shirt numbers, scanning the team-sheet and taking in the latest horrific slice over the bar all in one motion. You then make a split second decision as to whether this latest morsel is tastier than the banal fact you were about to launch into the ether or not, and away you bash.

It is, in short, terrific fun. Typo-strewn messages clog up the stay-at-home Sofarooks' timelines with occasional feedback and a half-time pint of Harveys your only reward. I could happily do little else for the rest of my days.