It is with deep regret and profound sadness that I must inform you of the passing of my trusted training companion of recent years, my faithful treadmill, Infiniti MA200.
Infiniti had been with me through thick and thin, working with me me through multiple campaigns, sharing in my successes and quietly empathic during the numerous downturns and failures.
Given Infiniti's quiet but steadfast service throughout these recent years, it was perhaps fitting that s/he/it went out with a literal bang. In fact s/he/it created something of a stink, exploding (almost literally) five minutes into a run and burning sufficiently well to stink out much of the house. After years of faithfully suffering being trampled upon, it was a last, assertive act of defiance which I can well understand and admire.