February

[twittenkitten]

Race day. 

I have so many specific, vignette like memories. They are threaded like beads on a string through my mind, each one leading to another but not always in the same order.

I was a little nervous upon waking, but nothing much. Comfortably nervous, if there can be such a thing. Mostly I was observing Joe's mounting anxiety with gentle mirth. His first race, his first proper stint of running since school days. Reminded me of my nervousness when I first ran Almeria 4 years ago. I was nervous then... 

We met up with the others at the NH hotel. Wonderfully got chatting with Suzy who I'd not yet spoken with. Also on the 9K (with Joe & I) it was good to feel part of our own group. I'd been shy of making too big a deal of talking to the people I did't yet know and, honestly,  there hadn't yet been that much time. But it worked to open up and swap notes with Suzy and as she said later: running gives you an instant connection, a reason to get chatting and find more things to chat about :-)

So to the start of the race. Joe spotted Ash, Rob, Duncan, Graham  and Antonio at the back of the MM pack. Along with shouts of good luck and handshakes, Ash leaned in for a proper hug. I later wonder if he knows how much that small gesture means to me? It reminded me I belonged there, in a group I usually feel a fraud to be with, and has stayed with me long since.

The race started uneventfully. I grumbled to myself as Joe sped out ahead. I maintain a really strict discipline with myself of starting slowly and easing into a run. Psychologically I find it much easier to start slower and build up the pace. Yet, I struggle with being on my own at the back and I was among the very slowest at first. Despite being outwardly sanguine and hearty about it, inwardly I find it embarrassing to be one of the slowest. It niggles me to be so visibly slower - weaker even - than the rest. Another reason I've been slow to embrace sports, particularly any kind of exercise community. 

But I know this about myself by now and the pay off was enjoying picking up speed and gently overtaking some of those who'd started fast and slowed down. It is a nice feeling to catch other runners and I allowed myself to feel virtuous for sticking to my plan and it paying off. Amazingly the first 5k went by really quickly, almost without any effort. That is not how it was the first time I did this - I had to struggle for every km. 

This time I enjoyed cruising past other runners and didn't pay much attention to how far I'd got. I clearly remember waving at some children who were on the roof of an apartment block. I think it was just after the split for the 9k and medio maraton. I looked up and was thrilled that people other than the runners were enjoying it. I gave them a big goofy grin and a huge enthusiastic wave. 

Once I got to about 6k it started getting tough, I was tiring. I'd been looking out for Joe's pink shorts and kept getting excited to see a guy with a t-shirt the exact same shade. Somewhere between 6 & 7 k I spotted him and knew I'd catch him. We'd said this would probably happen, but it was still nice to feel vindicated in my slow & steady approach (did I mention I still get sore about being the slowest??) We kept in sight of each other over the last few km. 

I love the bit where we come back to the stadium and run part way round the track and for me it was all sunshine, bright colours and excitement. The orange of the track, the blue of the sky, the feeling of anticipation - this is what it had all been about. Making it here, to the finish in one piece. Ever the romantic, Joe grabbed my hand for the last few hundred yards and we finished the race side by side. I'm glad of it. I wouldn't have even signed up if it hadn't been for Joe's enthusiasm for it.

We caught up with Suzy who'd already completed the 9k and chatted a bit with her, then staked out a spot to see the runners coming into the stadium. Watching for the rest of the team to come in with eager eyes, ready to cheer them on. It's a privilege to have been part of that, to welcome our crew as they head for the finish.

I'm so glad I was there.