Men and Women

[Sweder]

I received a lovely story from an associate living in the USA this week.

Subject: Men and women

I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realising that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost beside herself from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all, dear. Let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!! I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either !!

- Name removed -