January Jollies

[Sweder]

Hey, I had one of those, too. Great, aren't they?
My teacher, Mr Shreeves, had a wonderfully engorged nose, festooned with a labyrinth of purple veins. He had a caustic wit and a penchant for use of the cane - he kept three of varying lengths and whipidity (he'll definately be spinning at that one!), and used them enthusiastically at every opportunity.

He picked on me from day one, and to be honest I loved it.
'Watch it Head - or you'll lose it!' was his favorite retort.

We had those old pull-down blackboards, the ones that work like the disgusting old rotary towels in mens' toilets. I got in early one morning and created a masterpiece on the board, rolling it back up to be next in line.
Shreeves always started a lesson by yanking down the next board and chalking visciously on it in a sort of sword-fighting style, great slashing movements to create headings for the topics of the day.

The movie Jaws was recently out. My creation, an homage in the style of MAD magazine, consisted of three cartoon frames. The first depicted ocean waves with a slight protruberance breaking the surface. Under the picture the words Dum-Dum, Dum-Dum, Dum-Dum in fairly small script. In the next box, the same picture with more of the rising creature revealed - a large blunt snout with two black nostrils. Same sub script only larger font with excalmation marks.

The final frame had the unmistakable visage of our literary Tutor attached to an outrageously large proboscis, eyes wide, hair strands slicked back over his shiny bald pate.

Shreeves reached for his chalk, focused on the cluttered desktop as this storyboard rolled around on the blackboard. The class errupted. Giggles and snickers exploded into unabashed hoots, howls of derision followed by tears of belly-stretching laughter.

Sadly there were only two in our class who doodled in this fashion on a regular basis. Steven Cox, the other possible perp, was absent.

I felt the wrath of Big Bertha that day, I can tell you.