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Fab Feb
27-02-2006, 08:43 PM,
#24
Fab Feb
The lovely, but evil Rebecca found new pleasures yesterday afternoon... It makes me shudder to think of it, even now, after a night of torment and nightmares. I never realised that the words... sorry incantation "shin splints" could be so powerful. I think it opened a portal to hell (never a good idea in my experience), because the moment I uttered them, the ground shook, the lights dimmed, I'm sure I heard a clap of thunder, and Rebecca's eyes lit up with an enthusiasm that turned my blood cold Sad

She called what followed massage but what she in fact did was run her thumb down my shin, seperating the muscle from the bone on the downward motion, and then scraping the bone clean of any bothersome ligaments and such like on the upward sweep. I'm sure she trained on the job in an abbatoir, although she foregoes the leather apron these days.

Of course she says I'm just a wimp, and that I exaggerate. But you know me better than that don't you, gentle reader?

After seperating flesh from bone, in some bizarre satanic ritual, she then wrapped both feet in flesh-eating tape, drew some mystic symbols on a sheet of parchment (allegedly instructions for repeating the flesh-tearing taping should I be overcome by a bout of extreme masochism) and sent me out the door. I immediately lit a candle at St.Mary's cathedral down the road, but some malevolent force kept snuffing it out.

The really odd thing is that everything feels pretty good right about now. I think I could even go for a run. Although perhaps not. She told me not to run again until tomorrow. Something or other about waiting for the portal to close I think she said...

Sigh.
Run. Just run.
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Messages In This Thread
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 01-02-2006, 08:09 PM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 03-02-2006, 10:54 PM
Fab Feb - by El Gordo - 03-02-2006, 11:57 PM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 04-02-2006, 10:40 PM
Fab Feb - by Sweder - 05-02-2006, 07:31 AM
Fab Feb - by El Gordo - 05-02-2006, 10:29 AM
Fab Feb - by Seafront Plodder - 05-02-2006, 10:44 AM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 10-02-2006, 05:53 AM
Fab Feb - by Bierzo Baggie - 10-02-2006, 01:23 PM
Fab Feb - by Sweder - 10-02-2006, 02:19 PM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 14-02-2006, 08:01 PM
Fab Feb - by Sweder - 14-02-2006, 08:47 PM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 15-02-2006, 01:24 PM
Fab Feb - by Sweder - 15-02-2006, 11:27 PM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 16-02-2006, 04:48 AM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 19-02-2006, 05:13 AM
Fab Feb - by El Gordo - 19-02-2006, 08:32 AM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 22-02-2006, 09:39 AM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 24-02-2006, 12:52 PM
Fab Feb - by Bierzo Baggie - 24-02-2006, 01:24 PM
Fab Feb - by El Gordo - 24-02-2006, 01:30 PM
Fab Feb - by Sweder - 24-02-2006, 11:46 PM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 27-02-2006, 12:32 AM
Fab Feb - by Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man - 27-02-2006, 08:43 PM
Fab Feb - by Sweder - 28-02-2006, 12:06 PM

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