Trescothick splits!?
...you walloped us last time. There is no earthly reason why you can't do it again. It may be an away series for you, but you know now that you can do it.
You've still got Freddy and Skunk... and Straussy can bat a bit too. Frankly I never thought much of Trescothick (miserable bastard - always reminds me of that other long-faced bugger Hansie Cronje, who at least had the decency to fly himself into the side of a mountain) ... so you're probably better off without him anyway. But what an appalling way to quit the side. If he was an Aussie he wouldn't be let back in the country. If he was a South American he'd be shot at the airport.
Anyway, your boys better make a fist of it or they will be barbecued. We pay a lot of money for our tickets over here and demand to be entertained. If you can't entertain, then we demand a sacrifice. With tomato sauce, usually.
(And a few beers of course, goes without saying.)
What's Ian Botham saying about all this?
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