New Movies

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

The casting of Mr. Bloom spoiled another potentially excellent historical epic, the Ridley Scott-helmed Kingdom of Heaven. Great battle scenes (not as OTT as those in LotR or others of that ilk) yet sadly more like Kingdom of Kevin for me. Bloom lacks the gravitas to carry the weight of a nation on his slender shoulders in a believable style. Stumbling about in the ruins of the fort rallying the troops with a whispered call to arms just didn't slice the mootard. I thought he was more likely to burst into tears than slice up the Saracens.

Ah yes, I saw this one recently too, also, as well. Agreed. I kept expecting Senor Bloom to whip out an arrow and shoot people for no readily apparent reason. But the battle scenes were well done. Wassisface who played the Saracen dude was very good. I'm glad he won in the end. Nice to see the bad guys win occasionally. Stupid crusaders. Serves 'em right. Not that the Jews are doing such a great job of running the place these days, eh?

What's that ticking sound?