27 Sep - 10 Oct

[El Gordo]

Interesting update, MLCM, and glad to see that you're still with us.

The looped question about motivation is an interesting one. I don't know if this is the same for everyone, but as I've mentioned many times, I find that motivation is self-propelling, but in both directions. When you're running well, you've no need for pep-talks to get you out there. When you're in a down period, it's easy to sink further. For me, there's only one answer, and that's to force yourself to break the cycle (and no, nothing to do with taking a sledge hammer to your bike). It may be tough, but force yourself to get out for just one run, and suddenly you're thinking wow, I've remembered what a great feeling this is. The cycle can easily be broken in the other direction, unfortunately. Sometimes (in fact ALWAYS), when things are going well, something springs out of nowhere to bugger things up. A chocolate ambush, or an assailant in the shape of a bottle of decent wine. Or a social occasion that reminds me how good fried food and desserts can taste. The naughty genie's out of the bottle again, and that's it for a while.

Running can be hard, and finding the appetite for it during those off periods, is hard too. The one thing, the one single thing that sustains me, and gets me back out there, is the sure knowledge that plodding for a few miles, then a shower and a change of clothes, makes me feel reborn.

If you're working very long hours, it may seem hard, but remember that running can be thinking time. Instead of regarding it as separate 'leisure time', perhaps think of it as part of your working day; a period away from the desk to try to work a few things out in your mind. (This presumes you do something that involves a desk. The technique may not work if you're a hairdresser or a deep sea diver.)

So don't worry about the "constant struggle to stay motivated and disciplined". If I didn't suffer the same problem, I wouldn't appreciate just how good it can be. Only starey-eyed obsessives don't have a motivation problem. You know, those people who could go to a fancy dress party as a visitor from the Planet Zog without having to change anything about their appearance or behaviour. You wannabe one of them? Professional athletes, and those guys who spent all their time at university training or competing, and no time getting drunk or stoned or trying to get their leg over. Sanctimonious whippets. You wanna be one of them?

Or do you want to be one of the regular guys who manages to be normal, enjoy (yahaa!) many of those deliciously bad things in life and STILL have room for the pleasure of running, and the ability to see new things in the world around you. Do you think that those zombie, always-motivated nuts could write about your hills the way you can? Do you think they can engage with life's absurdities in the same way? Because that's what you'd have to swap to get their attitude. That's what you'd have to sacrifice.

Enjoy your bottle or two of red. Tonight, and even tomorrow. But decide now that the day after that, you're going to get out there and enjoy the luxury of your own company, and for all the right reasons. Do it once, and the rest will follow.

And any politician who says that "running through deserted city streets at that time of the morning [4 a.m.] is nearly always worthwhile" is a man who knows too much. Either make him Prime Minister, or assassinate him.