I need a toe job!

[Plodder]

I have agreed to run the FLM this year and have been trainingn since September However I am finding it difficult as I haven't given up playing hockey which as a result is giving me sore big toes due to the nature of the game. both pairs of trainer fit properly. Any suggestions apart from big toe amputation?

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Welcome plodder. Big toe amputation is not recommended on account of the embarrassment it will cause you in the change rooms.

The solution is to switch from hockey - a harsh, callous and especially cruel sport - to cricket, a highly respected past-time which will only improve your big toe fitness.

Unless you are Australian of course, in which case we encourage you to keep playing hockey, as we happen to be very good at it. Mind you, we're also very good manufacturers of big toe prosthetics.

If you don't have access to good prosthetics, a small lump of glaziers putty may be substituted. Be aware however that it may make your socks smell. If you must go down the amputation road, I suggest a no.7 surgical saw and some of that rather excellent anaesthetising Alsace Riesling that Andy keeps stashed for such occasions.

Best of luck.

[El Gordo]

What time is it in Australia at the moment? Shouldn't you be in your bed?

Mr Plodder - I wouldn't listen to advice about amputation from a man who's sleep-deprived.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

It isn't the time that's the factor - it's the amount of Leasingham Bin 61 Clare Valley shiraz I've had... gives one a great perspective on matters surgical. Especially the '98 vintage.

But I'm right about the hockey.

[Sweder]

It would however come as a great shock to learn that Australians are other than world leaders in toe amputation, along with everything else one can think of.

I believe their 2nd XI took first place in the annual Digit Removal Championships (Sleep Deprived Division) despite being lashed up and losing 2 team members to funnel web bites during the event. Strewth.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

True, and they had come straight off the back of the brain transplant games in Munich...

[Sweder]

Plodder, I think it depends on how you feel about the FLM.
If it's a life's dream and your first time in, I'd give up the hockey for a couple of months. I had the same issues with 5-a-side football 2 years ago. I loved my football but there was every chance I'd sprain an ankle or stub a toe, so it had to go.

Turns out I love running and I've taken up badminton instead of footie. The good thing about badminton is the greatest risk of damage is getting your doubles partners' racket in the face. Painful, but not prohibitive to training.

[Seafront Plodder]

.....or you could take up cricket. No chance of getting injured there as bugger all ever happens!

[El Gordo]

Sweder is right, I fear. I don't know about hockey in particular but it sounds similar to football in this respect. It's not just the increased danger of injury through knocks. It's a completely different type of sport putting sudden heavy strains on a variety of muscles that might endanger your running goals.

It's tough to say "give it up" but for a marathon, particularly a hard-to-get-into one like the FLM, I think there may not be much option if you want to give yourself the best chance of getting to the start line, never mind the finish.

[Sweder]

.....or you could take up cricket. No chance of getting injured there as bugger all ever happens!

. . . or indeed that most pedestrian of sports, Tennis . . .

[Plodder]

I play cricket in the summer.

Who ever suggested you would'n't get injured hasn't played in Holybourne in 2003 I was hit in the middle of the forehead by a ball which resulted in a hole you could see my skull through. Last year I was hit in the mouth luckily I had a gum shield in so it only loosened one tooth.

That is why I took up hockey it isn't so dangerous.

[Sweder]

Don't worry Plodder - that was SP, a philistine who thinks cricket is a character in Pinocchio