Set-to-tember

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

As the last of the winter squalls full of marine stink blow in from the west, with the wrath of Neptune only amplified by its long journey from ... where, Patagonia, perhaps? ... the time has come once again to chuck the gauntlet at the floor and wriggle (or waddle) into action. This brief climactic return of winter's maelstrom will soon pass and the early signs of spring - the daffodils and lengthening days - will surely reawaken the runner's desire in me again, as it always inevitably does.

A lot has happened in recent weeks. Too much, in fact, though precious little of it had anything at all to do with running. Nearly all of it hastened my decline from the list of those that call themselves runners. Along the way, and in beautiful, poetic sadness and irony, my Garmin Forerunner GPS threw in the towel, committing chronological harakiri, and refusing my best and not inexpensive efforts to revive it; its blank face and lifeless internals condemning me with their silence. Its death neatly paralleled my decline in fitness, and its lifeless heart is now as empty as my running log. I feel, although it is of course ridiculous, that my failure to run was responsible for the death of my watch, as absurd as that may be.

Never mind. Watch or no watch, it's time to get moving again. Inertia only magnifies life's problems, while mobility and momentum diminish them, and in my experience, substantially so.

So. Here I go, once more.

Hallelujah.

   

[glaconman]

Wise words. Glad you're back in action.

[marathondan]

Hurrah!

Doesn't seem long since the last change of season was announced. Autumn is definitely here in the south of England. Had to put long trousers on today for the first time (at the weekend) since June.

[Charliecat5]

Never mind. Watch or no watch, it's time to get moving again. 

I ran my first race yesterday without my Garmin strapped to my wrist.  It was strangely liberating.  Mind you, it was the only part of the morning's shenanigans that was...

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

The running or the gun?

And so I run once again. The first few minutes were a wretched affair: laboured, grunting and lacking in confidence; prickly, stinky sweat quickly fused with my now too-tight running top. This shirt, a fetching bright green affair was honestly earned at the Almeria Medio Maraton in just February of this year. Until a few weeks ago it had been frequently and proudly worn by me and not too tight at all. Today though, it was uncomfortable and clinging, its tightness and my wretchedness pinning me in a searchlight of justly-deserved condemnation as a fraudster. I could no more run a half marathon now than qualify for the Olympics. It's at times like these I feel like chucking it all in and retiring to a rocking chair on a porch somewhere with a loaded shotgun to shake my fists at the world and spend the rest of my days yelling at people to get off my property.

But, of course, after those first few minutes of gloom, with just a little persistence on my part the inevitable magic returns. A warmth that only runners can appreciate suffuses and calms my inner torment; the frustration at my loss of fitness dissipates and instead the knowledge that I'm back on the path to running righteousness once again prevails. It's a bloody wonderful feeling, and my slowness and laboured breath are as nothing in the face of my return to the patiently waiting world of health and vitality.

In truth I've never really felt part of that world that is the 'running community', although any form of regular social interaction is not something that is easy for a shift worker such as myself. Instead I feel like the nosey neighbour who sometimes pops in unannounced, hanging around awkwardly for a while before disappearing again without a word of explanation.

But nosey or not, here I am: and despite my lack of running not too much damage seems to have been done, I suppose. I'm a little flabbier, of course, but still on the correct side of my target weight, and having done enough cardio work (mainly walking) in recent weeks I can fairly say to still be in reasonable health. But it's time to focus and put in some effort again. A replacement GPS has been ordered and a new season of running has commenced, which, of course, is great.

So, let's crack on. Today's effort was a relatively paltry and very slow run/walk session, but at a little over an hour, it counts as a genuine piece of training and a good kick-start to the southern spring season.

Chuffed, I think, is the word I'm looking for. Yeah, that will do.

Chuffed.

[Sweder]

Good to see you back in the saddle. Pretty much there myself, having limped through August and stumbled into September. It gets harder to reboot so I do try to do something every week.
Glaconman's advice to CC5 on mixing it up bears a viewing.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

My New Running Coach, Kierkegaard... and a little bit of Eeyore.
 
It was Kierkegaard, apparently, who said that success comes from starting over and over again in order to break new ground. The Soviet leader, V. I. Lenin expanded on this idea when he said that to conquer an unclimbable mountain you need periodic strategic retreats down the mountain in order to better reassess a successful approach to the summit.
 
I am, therefore, on such a strategic retreat and should take heart from knowing that, according to those supreme athletes Kierkegaard and Lenin,  even with my current stop/start (but mostly 'stop') state of training I am still on the road to success. However, this would be somewhat delusional. My recent long break from running would be called a winter layoff by some, but it has rather extended well into spring and already encompassed (and thereby eliminated any chance of entering) the main races I had planned and trained for earlier in the year.
 
The truth is that shift work has really exhausted me, and I am very, very tired nearly all of the time these days. The best way to cope with the continuously changing and cyclic nature of the shifts is of course by drinking myself into oblivion each night through general fitness and especially running, but being too exhausted most of the time to even think about it, my running shoes lay undisturbed and the training log grows at the pace of an elderly arthritic snail. And so my inertia becomes ever more difficult to overcome. Pathetic, isn't it?
 
Somehow I'll find a way to get back to a fair level of running fitness again, but thus far it's in mere fits and starts with no great signs of roaring into life. It's a bit of 'meh' situation, but I'll work through it - I owe it to myself!

Eeyore  MLCMM.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Good to see you back in the saddle. Pretty much there myself, having limped through August and stumbled into September. It gets harder to reboot so I do try to do something every week.
Glaconman's advice to CC5 on mixing it up bears a viewing.

Oh, aye, yes there's wisdom there alright. I'm mixing it up, it's just that it's all too little. I need to make an effort. Effort, though, is the dirty word just now. But, as I say, we'll get there. I always do... for I know where the alternative existence doth lead me.

[Sweder]

It's all cyclical. I just read GM's advice (again) to CC5 (again) on intervals. He's right (again!), but it's so hard to push myself that hard.
What with cycling almost daily and work on the Lewes FC Women progs/ CWD UK Conference burning the candle late and long, I too am in a fairly permanent stat of knackereness. Work, too, is gearing up for an autumnal explosion. I ache. I groan. My back is sore, my feet are shot, my legs are old and bent.

But. But, there is this Vet's football. I love it. It kills me, it's all stop-start and sweaty and difficult, but it's great.
We got tonked last Friday, 3-0 down at half-time, 4-0 down in no time after the re-start, got it back to 4-3 before the death.
I had a schooner of Abyss Coffee Milk Stout on the way home.
Brilliant.

[marathondan]

Hang in there, MLCMM. Run for relaxation, run for stress relief. No goals for a bit. Enjoy the endorphins, however mild they may be. See where it takes you.

[glaconman]

It's all cyclical. I just read GM's advice (again) to CC5 (again) on intervals. He's right (again!), but it's so hard to push myself that hard.
What with cycling almost daily and work on the Lewes FC Women progs/ CWD UK Conference burning the candle late and long, I too am in a fairly permanent stat of knackereness. Work, too, is gearing up for an autumnal explosion. I ache. I groan. My back is sore, my feet are shot, my legs are old and bent.

But. But, there is this Vet's football. I love it. It kills me, it's all stop-start and sweaty and difficult, but it's great.
We got tonked last Friday, 3-0 down at half-time, 4-0 down in no time after the re-start, got it back to 4-3 before the death.
I had a schooner of Abyss Coffee Milk Stout on the way home.
Brilliant.

Just as an addendum to any advise I might have given. I think you raise a really good point. If you're burning both ends of the candle just to stand still then 'efforts' are out of the question.

Your work patterns, current driving situation and community work are more than I could bite off. My life is so much more .... sedate, predictable and self-centred. The way you tear-into life with all guns blazing is pretty admirable Sweder. Without the added pressure of running fitness which takes up alot of time and energy.

As for MLCMM and night shifts......probably the most difficult work-life balance situation to deal with.

[Charliecat5]

It's all cyclical. I just read GM's advice (again) to CC5 (again) on intervals. He's right (again!), but it's so hard to push myself that hard.
What with cycling almost daily and work on the Lewes FC Women progs/ CWD UK Conference burning the candle late and long, I too am in a fairly permanent stat of knackereness. Work, too, is gearing up for an autumnal explosion. I ache. I groan. My back is sore, my feet are shot, my legs are old and bent.

But. But, there is this Vet's football. I love it. It kills me, it's all stop-start and sweaty and difficult, but it's great.
We got tonked last Friday, 3-0 down at half-time, 4-0 down in no time after the re-start, got it back to 4-3 before the death.
I had a schooner of Abyss Coffee Milk Stout on the way home.
Brilliant.

Just as an addendum to any advise I might have given. I think you raise a really good point. If you're burning both ends of the candle just to stand still then 'efforts' are out of the question.

Your work patterns, current driving situation and community work are more than I could bite off. My life is so much more .... sedate, predictable and self-centred. The way you tear-into life with all guns blazing is pretty admirable Sweder. Without the added pressure of running fitness which takes up alot of time and energy.

As for MLCMM and night shifts......probably the most difficult work-life balance situation to deal with.

The ebbs and flows of running.  In our little Lewes posse of runners, we are all in different stages of the cycle.  OATR is running everything: 26 miles of Twittens, cross country races, track, and the odd little outing with me - he is miles ahead of the rest of us now.  Radar is training for her first marathon (Beachyhead) on her way to the Moyleman in March, and is running very well.  By my reckoning she has run over 30 miles this week so far, with a Saturday 16 miler planned.   Me... I am actually building up a nice solid base, having knocked off 24 miles this week... and the goat is out there, gently easing his way back in (I believe).   My point... if there is a point to be made... is that we're all in different places... I am not sure what the point is now.   

Oh yes... it ebbs and flows.

[OutAlongTheRiver]

Interestingly I can join the ebbing tide by noting illness has knocked stuffing out of me and no runs now since Thursday 21 September and counting ... so I need to rework on recovery

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

It's bleeding obvious, really.

It was Samuel Beckett who said: Try again. Fail again. Fail better. This gives me comfort during the inevitable downturns and stuck-in-the-doldrum quagmires of this running life. Carl Jung also noted: what we resist, persists, which is of particular significance when trying to find a way out of the morass and back to a level of routine running and fitness. Fighting against all that life throws at us in order to get back on the road to health is so often self-defeating and only makes matters worse. I've experienced this to varying degrees many times, and I don't like. Not a bit.

As Jung was suggesting, the answer seems to lie not in resisting, but of surrendering to life's inevitable flash flood of dominating, non-running matters that plague us. Instead we should just go with the flow: only then will ways and means of getting back on track reveal themselves. And this is where cross-training; of mixing it up is really useful. When one stops trying to force the issue, other methods of finding some semblance of fitness reveal themselves: probably they were always there, but when one insists on reinstating some form of rigorous running schedule you remain obstinately blinkered to the bleeding obvious.

And so I have done the letting go thing: I'm relaxed and ambivalent about how much running I can actually squeeze in these days and have instead discovered pleasure in digging the garden; of walking rather than running, and of tossing in a few minutes of strength training as I can, with none of it dictated to by any onerous form of schedule or with a race deadline to meet. So while maybe as a form of running it classifies as a fail, I am at least failing better, with my physical and mental health in good shape. I may not be able to run with any conviction in any form of race, but I'm alive and healthy and for the most part, happy with it.

But I could use a holiday.  

[Charliecat5]

To bastardise what Carl Jung probably meant... and whilst I like the significance of "what we resist, persists"... I suggest we need to bring it back to brass tacks.

Don't think it, just do it.

Get out of the door and just go running.  Don't put yourself on a pedestal.  Don't set expectations.  Don't enter a race.  Just strap on the shoes and head outside.  1 mile, 3 miles, 20 miles, it doesn't matter.  As long as you enjoy it... do it. 

I'm enjoying my running at the moment, because I'm enjoying the moment.

[OutAlongTheRiver]

CC5 Philosopher. We should start generating some running memes from your posts

[OutAlongTheRiver]

   

[Charliecat5]

I think you're on to something.

   

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

I dunno about this.