Plagiarists Corner

[Sweder]

A suggested thread for the posting of gigglesworth articles stolen shamelessly from e-casts, podcasts and (gulp) the press.

[Sweder]

'Lee Cattermole has committed his short-term future to Middlesbrough by
... you've lost interest, haven't you? Still, might as well complete
the sentence ... signing a four-year contract extension.'

'American presidential secretary Tony Blair has recommended that David
Beckham be knighted and his wife Victoria be given a ladyhood [She's
no lady! - Fiver Ed.], presumably for services to self-promotion.'

[SIZE="1"]You can subscribe and unsubscribe at
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[Sweder]

By Dave Woods
BBC Sport in Christchurch

How do you know when a plane load of Aussies has just arrived? When the engines have stopped, you can still hear the whining.
And, boy, have the Aussies whined since we've been here.

It's sometimes nice to thank your hosts for a warm welcome - it would just be nice to find a few Aussies who actually provided one.

Take Tommy Raudonikis, for example. No, please, do take him. Raudonikis is a former coach of New South Wales.
The four-time Kangaroo tourist writes a column in a local newspaper and, by way of welcome to the visiting English cricketers and rugby league players, writes: "I'm still wondering what we've done to deserve having to put up with Pommy bastards twice in one year.

"It's gone from a whingeing solo to a bloody chorus of complaint.
We cannot stand idle and let their pitiful strains drown us out on Saturday night. Not to howl down those whining mongrels would be akin to letting them microwave your beer and serve it to you warm."

He later refers to Prince Charles as a "big, goofy wing nut."
All of which is best read in a gravelly Aussie accent whilst sipping four XXXX and swatting flies from around your head. Nice to meet you too, Tommy.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

All of which is best read in a gravelly Aussie accent whilst sipping four XXXX and swatting flies from around your head. Nice to meet you too, Tommy.

Aussies don't actually drink XXXX - just like they don't actually drink Fosters. That's the stuff reserved for the export market to bloody stupid foreigners fed up with drinking warm piss.

The stuff about swatting flies is true though...

[Sweder]

Contrary to popular belief Foster's is NOT consumed in Australia (at least by Australians). Instead, they prefer one of the many beers brewed and served regionally; each territory specializes in its own brand.

seems to back up your statement. However

Queensland is the most parochial and sticks to their state beer which is called XXXX (pronounced as 4 X) and it is very tough to find outside of their State borders.

doesn't do much to help you. Cobber.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

...doesn't do much to help you. Cobber.

That's because Queensland is over-run with bloody silly foreigners (mostly Kiwis)

[Seafront Plodder]

It has been reported that Liverpool are lining up a fresh intake of loan players in the January transfer window?

Apparently their targets are Jason Euell (Middlesbrough) and Phil Neville (Everton). They are also interested in trialling John Wark's son, and will take him on a month's loan from Aberdeen (I think).

Rafael Benitez said the fans inspired him to try to recruit all these three when they sang:

"Euell, Neville, Wark on loan"

[Sweder]

West Ham are marooned (or is that claret-and-blued? Honk! Ho-ah) in the relegation zone and their new chairman Eggert Magnusson has had enough.

Next Bloke for a Spat with Wenger Odds: 4-6 Alan Curbishley, 7-2 Sven-Goran Charlatan, 7-1 George Graham, 14-1 Glenn Hoddle, Iain Dowie, David O'Leary

With the exception of Curbs and Mr Incredible that's a rank old bunch. Anyone for Svennis? East is Eastend, mayhap?

[El Gordo]

Looks like Curbishley all the way to me. He has the lot -- decent management track record on limited resources, ex-West Ham player, and he's available, so no big compensation payments. If he wants it (and that's the unknown thing), I reckon he could name his price.

The only other possible for me would be Iain Dowie. I know he's regarded as damaged goods by some but I really rate the guy. Still a rank outsider compared with Curbishley though.

[marathondan]

From www.private-eye.co.uk.

"It was a very hot potato at the time. We thought we’d put it to bed, but to have it regurgitated now is pointless."

STEVE COPPELL
Sky Sports News

The more you read it, the funnier it is.

[Sweder]

FIVER LETTERS

"Agent Le Guen: mission accomplished, your sainthood awaits you"
Pope Benedict.

[El Gordo]

A suggested thread for the posting of gigglesworth articles stolen shamelessly from e-casts, podcasts and (gulp) the press.

What is a gigglesworth article....?

Something that's funny?

[Sweder]

What is a gigglesworth article....?

Something that's funny?

Funny . . . amusing, clever perhaps.

Or maybe loaded with scathing derision.
I'm expecting a sackload of the latter following the news from Down Under . . .

[El Gordo]

Funny . . . amusing, clever perhaps.

Or maybe loaded with scathing derision.
I'm expecting a sackload of the latter following the news from Down Under . . .

Ah, forgot about the cricket. Is that still going?

Just took a look. England all out, with a lead of.....21 it seems.



You've got to laugh. It's the only thing that works.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Before I gloat, quote of the series goes to Geoffrey Boycott OBE who, when asked how he felt about the English team receiving OBEs and MBEs way back in '05, said "I'm furious. I'm so mad about it that I've hung mine around my cat."


And in case you haven't heard, the score in the current series is:

5 - nil

[El Gordo]

Well played Australia, bad luck England.

Nothing much more to say about it really.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Well played Australia, bad luck England.

Face it Andy, luck had nothing to do with it - your guys were just not good enough. They've got necessary basic cricketing talent, and had Australia on the ropes more than once, but just didn't know how to respond when Australia fought their way back into the game, nor did England know how to respond when they were in a difficult position themselves. As Ian Botham said, the England players need to learn a thing or two about self-reliance; about digging deep to overcome those tricky situations.

In '05 Australia idenitified exactly those kinds of problems with their own game and worked hard on it to fix it before this series. England now need to do the same.

Hopefully they can learn quickly enough to win something in the one day series. They have a 20/20 match in which they can let their hair down in three days time before the first one-dayer of the series on Jan 9th.

Please do try and win something this time guys.

[Sweder]

Go on, ask the maddest person you know, such as the boggle-eyed beardy bloke in IT who walks like a pigeon and wears a Dame Judi Dench T-shirt over his duffel coat. You'll find that even he agrees that Henrik Larsson's MU Rowdies debut was dazzling. Verily, not since Sven-Goran Eriksson grabbed Faria Alam from behind on his staircase has a Swede made such a bold entrance in England.

Fiver, 8th Jan 2007

[SIZE="1"]Sorry, can't get enough of this headline at the moment[/SIZE]

[El Gordo]

Only caught the second half, and rather patchily at that as I had to have a shower halfway through it. Thought his goal was excellent but I didn't notice his name mentioned too much apart from that - apologies if I missed it. Undoubtedly is/has been a classy player. Main concern if I was a Utd fan is that he is injury prone. If he can be kept fit, should be an excellent acquisition.

In the end I felt sorry for Villa and O'Neill -- based on the second half, though I did hear that Utd had dominated the first. A sickener of a winner for the goalie.

[Sweder]

Larsson was excellent throughout, narrowly missing two opportunities in the first half. I doubt Lord Ferg intends to field him every time, though with Saha taking up a table in the treatment room for the next four weeks he may get a prolonged run in the side.

Rooney by contrast would have difficulty locating a bovine rear end with an oft-plucked country stringed instrument. I too found a tiny sliver of pity in my cold black Rowdies heart for the Latest Greatest Manager England Never Had. Villa fought manfully and with more composure in the area might have sealed a win before Ollie did what Ollie does.

A home tie with 'Arry's boys does little to whet the appetite. Think I'll dust off my rotten green trackie top and get behind Forest for a couple of weeks.