New Movies

[Sweder]

I recently subscribed to Empire online, mainly because they feed me stuff on forthcoming movies. Most of them are mainstream Multiplex fodder, but occasionally there's a gem or two.

Just watched the trailer for Danny 'Trainspotting/ 28 Days later' Boyle's new SciFi (due April 6th) 'Sunshine'. Check out the trailer at the Empire interactive e-magazine. Also good fun (though the film is likely to be a shocker) is Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer. Any Marvel fan worth his or her salt will know the SS.
His first Big Screen appearance is worth catching, if only on the HD trailer.

[Sweder]

Never mind all that . . . just saw the trailer for '300'

Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, 300 is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite. It's a bit like Butch and Sundance in loincloths. Er, and without guns.

Described by those who know as 'shallow as a pygmy's paddling pool' and a triumph for style over substance the early rushes are mouth-watering. At least it's set fair to dance on the grave of the well-below-par Achillies, not to mention grind out it's monstrous cigar-stub of a CGI budget on the hideous clusterf*ck we shiveringly remember as Alexander. Alexander The Great with a thick Irish accent? Whale Oil Beef Hooked.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

In amongst all these ancient sword slashers, where do you rate Troy?

I ask only out of curiosity.

[Sweder]

In amongst all these ancient sword slashers, where do you rate Troy?

I haven't seen it yet - is that Brad and Angelina?
To be honest I didn't see much of Alexander. At least I didn't get past the opening ten minutes, about the time I realised everyone had an Irish accent because Colin Farrel can't disguise his. One of the few occasions I've pulled the plug on a movie.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom. Can't remember who the chick was, but it wasn't Angie-babe.

Very much a formulaic Hollywood CGI extravaganza, but I have to admit quite liking it (other than Brad Pitt). Did seem to borrow rather a lot from Lord of the Things for the battle scenes (not just because of Bloom!), but then again, a battle is a battle is a battle I guess. Normally I hate all this big scene battle stuff. And there wasn't a single giant wooden rabbit to be seen anywhere. So it wasn't on a par with Monty Python & The Holy Grail's amazing, stunning, staggering battle scenes

[Sweder]

Yep, with you there - Grail is a classic.
I'm still confused about the load capacity of an African Swallow opposed to the lighter European model.
Still, at least I know my favorite colour.
It's Blue.
No, Re-eeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggggggggghhhhh...........

[SIZE="1"]Calls for an instant moratorium on Python quotes.
Yes, even the Biggus Dickus scene from Life of Brian.
It just gets too much after a while, and not everyone gets it. Bastards.[/SIZE]

The casting of Mr. Bloom spoiled another potentially excellent historical epic, the Ridley Scott-helmed Kingdom of Heaven. Great battle scenes (not as OTT as those in LotR or others of that ilk) yet sadly more like Kingdom of Kevin for me. Bloom lacks the gravitas to carry the weight of a nation on his slender shoulders in a believable style. Stumbling about in the ruins of the fort rallying the troops with a whispered call to arms just didn't slice the mootard. I thought he was more likely to burst into tears than slice up the Saracens. Not like 'Bobby' Charlton Heston in the fabulous El Cid. I always thought they missed a trick by not shooting a remake with Syd James - El Syd. That guffaw alone would have brought the castle walls a-tumblin' in no time

[Sweder]

One more on the horizon without a fantasy/ Sci Fi bent is Factory Girl.

The story unfolds the comet-like rise and fall of 60s 'It Girl' Edie Sedgwick, the superstar who came to define both the glamour and the tragedy of celebrity-obsessed culture. Sedgwick appeared to be the quintessential American princess, with her blue blood, her trust fund and her Harvard education, not to mention ethereal beauty and charisma. But she was also a lost and fragile little girl. When she met Andy Warhol, everything changed. Edie found herself at the center of a Pop Art universe bursting with sex, drugs, style and rock ‘n’ roll . . . and a lemming-like rush for fame that took her closer to her own destruction. Possibly not a giggle-fest and almost bound to ooze style over substance. Oh, and there's the difficult matter of the young Darth Vadar playing an equally young RC Icon and rival for Ms Sedgewick's affections, Bob Dylan.
Could be a real car wreck for some of us

Stars Guy Pearce (Prescilla, LA Confidential), Sienna Miller (Layer Cake) and Hayden Christensen (Darth Vadar in the last two - appalling - Star Wars films).

Whilst this film may hold a nostalgic appeal to people of a certain age, it seems equally capable of delivering a message to the wannabe superstars of the twenty-first century.
Are you listening, Britney Spears?

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

The casting of Mr. Bloom spoiled another potentially excellent historical epic, the Ridley Scott-helmed Kingdom of Heaven. Great battle scenes (not as OTT as those in LotR or others of that ilk) yet sadly more like Kingdom of Kevin for me. Bloom lacks the gravitas to carry the weight of a nation on his slender shoulders in a believable style. Stumbling about in the ruins of the fort rallying the troops with a whispered call to arms just didn't slice the mootard. I thought he was more likely to burst into tears than slice up the Saracens.

Ah yes, I saw this one recently too, also, as well. Agreed. I kept expecting Senor Bloom to whip out an arrow and shoot people for no readily apparent reason. But the battle scenes were well done. Wassisface who played the Saracen dude was very good. I'm glad he won in the end. Nice to see the bad guys win occasionally. Stupid crusaders. Serves 'em right. Not that the Jews are doing such a great job of running the place these days, eh?

What's that ticking sound?

[Sweder]

Browsing the BBC website I found a link to the Good Doctor's Review Archive. If you're thinking about watching a recent movie ut need some guidance this is a s good a place to start as any. Downloadable for MP3, archived A-Z by title, all in Dr Kermode's unique style. Enjoy.

[Sweder]

Oh, and there's the difficult matter of the young Darth Vadar playing an equally young RC Icon and rival for Ms Sedgwick's affections, Bob Dylan.

Hmm, seems I may have got that slightly wrong.
Although Dylan did apparently date Sedgwick in real life at the time and was apparently instrumental in the proceedings depicted in Factory Girl, Messrs Sue, Grabbit & Runne were deployed by the wizened folk-crooner to ensure that any resemblance of the character played by the young, pouting Darth Vadar in Factory Girl to a young Freewheelin' Baaab is 'purely coincidental'. All mention of Dylan - including references to the stoned rabbit in Magic Roundabout - have been airbrushed from the picture, leaving us with this farcical facsimile.

Madness, and a tad naïve.


[SIZE="1"]Absolutely positively not Bob Dylan with Edie Sedgwick[/SIZE]

Find out more here courtesy of the marvellous Doctor K.

[El Gordo]

Yes, I heard the good doctor expressing his view on this on Friday. I think there's supposed to be a Dylan biopic out sometime, so don't panic...