[Off Topic] A Scottish Poem.

[Griff]

Tae A Fert

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
that lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'bodys gonnae have tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek

But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap a thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Mighty me a sonic boom!

God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me chokin
Wan or two are nearly bokin
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but rise a smile

Wis him! I shout with accusin glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair


Where e're ye go let ye wind gan free
Sounds like just the place fur me
Whit a fuss at rabbie's perty
Ower the sake o' one wee ferty.

By a dinnae ken

**************************************************
Was gonna just mail this Andy. Thought I'd share it with the forum (esp. Antonio and his students). Apologies to Robbie Burns.

[Antonio247]

Although it´s a bit difficult to understand, I think it is quite amusing.

I´ve heard that we Spaniards when we speak English look as if we were from Scotland because we pronounce"r" and "h" very hard.

Thank you, Griff, for the poem which has helped me to improve my rusty English.

Greetings from Almería

Antonio

[El Gordo]

This place is definitely going downhill....

Great poem though.