LE JOG

[El Gordo]

A wretched month in which a paltry handful of miles were added to my already unimpressive January total.

My damaged body needed rest and recuperation, and I count myself a lucky fellow to have secured lodgings at the most agreeable Tregolls Farm before disaster struck.

Holed up here, being spoon-fed oven-softened cornish pasties, with a flagon of the local potent cider always at hand, and a brace of delightful rustic wenches to cater for my strangely foreign tastes (or so they claimed in the witness statement), has been a restful experience but this morning, as I heard the police sirens in the distance, decided that it might be time to move on. Not wanting to cause a fuss, I left by the back door as a strange blue light began to fill the sky to the east.

Unfortunately, the month of idleness has added somewhat to my girth, and the 6 miles of progress I am able to add to my record were not achieved in sufficient haste to get to the Slades House Country Inn in Sladesbridge before they had shut for the night. I was able to peer through the bar window and admire the row of sparkling hand pumps, but alas, they were as inaccessible as my dream of reaching the wilds of north-west Scotland before the end of the year now appear to be. Still, I must put all gloomy thoughts behind me, and do what I can.

My resting place tonight is a ditch beneath a hedge on a tiny lane outside the hamlet. The night is cold and dark, but I am content. Just as I made my way out of the settlement, I noticed once again that strange blue light in the distance, and eventually, some raised voices, crying things like: "Damnation, we must have just missed the bastard", and "I shan't rest till I get my hands on that London poofter and tear him asunder, limb by limb!"

In retrospect, I am glad to have avoided opening time at the Slades House Country Inn. There may be a chill in the air, but here in the open air, I feel strangely safe. This is a violent and unpredictable land, and I resolve to reach the border with Devon as soon as I possibly can.