Parental Advisory - Thread May Offend

[Sweder]

Let’s talk about . . . phlegm.

Not nice, is it? But many runners face the prospect of dealing with it during a run. There are many methods for disposing of unwanted mucus, ranging from the discreet hanky secreted in the waistband to the full-on nostril-rocket expulsion on the run.

I confess to deploying the latter on occasion, mostly when I’m running solo.
The problems start when running in a group, either in a race or on a weekend long run. It’s a most unsociable, unpleasant activity which, if combined with strong winds and careless aim, can lead to altercation.

So what to do?
Some runners are lucky. My good Canadian friend announced recently that she doesn’t suffer from the problem at all. This sounds like heaven, but for the lesser mortals amongst us congestion definitely affects performance.

So come on people, share your secrets.
Nurse? Suction . . .

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

I have my man-servant Rufus run alongside with a spittoon.

[El Gordo]

When I'm on my own, I sort of blow my nose on my hands and flick the result before me with a gesture akin to me expressing displeasure at the performance of Rufus, MLCM's man-servant.

In company, I guiltily reach for my length of disposable kitchen towel kept in the pockets of my shorts for this very purpose.

I don't suppose this helps much....

[Sweder]

Well, it sort of helps. I was more looking for any suggestions to cut down the quantity of emissions, ie wearing the Robbie Fowler nose-peg. I guess the alternative is to carry a hankie or tissues. Not wishing to gross anyone out, I may need some form of St. Bernard-in-the-Alps style arrangement under my chin . . .

[Griff]

Being quite lucky living about 10 miles from a nuclear power station, I like to use the glow in the dark properties of my phlegm. This is very useful at this time of year. The continual moisture in the air helps to prevent the "grollies" from drying up, so I try to lay a trail up the country lanes where I run and, since there is no street lighting, use it to navigate my way home, avoiding the ditches as I go.

[Yorkshire Plodder]

Glad to see the forum's fallen back to its old standards!! I must admit I like running in winter so I can wear gloves - definitely come in very handy!! Was a bit embarrassing when we ran recently and my hands had got too warm and I threw my gloves for a friend to look after who was watching the race. At the end she didn't look too happy as she handed me them back!!

[El Gordo]

Well done YP, gloves. You're right - gloves are the answer.

[Sweder]

All you need is gloves . . . good.
I'll borrow the wife's.