Stoptober 2012

[Sweder]

Welcome to day one of a TWELVE WEEK fat loss regime.

I can't believe I've said that out loud, but it's out there now and there's no taking it back.
The first item on the agenda as I rolled out of bed was to take a 'before' picture and mail it to Julie, our attractive, svelt instructress. Not much fazes me in this life but I confess this was horrible. I'm fairly certain that most of us subconsciously 'suck in the gut' when approaching the bathroom mirror - or, at least, we do when we catch sight of something pale and blubbery as we walk in. Julia had prepared me for this moment, assuring me that honesty is the best policy if I really want to enjoy the results. Ye gods, this was not a sight for the squeamish.

I then set about my day one work out, or 'Metabolic 1' as it appears on my *gulp* spreadsheet. (Cue gales of laughter from Messers Dan, MLCMMan and El Gordo). A series of as yet gentle exercises that took me about 40 minutes. Another cruel reminder of how out of shape I am, as by the end I was sweating like a Jimmy Saville apologist and keen for it all to be over.

Food wise I'm not going overboard. Protein for breakfast - poached eggs and bacon with coffee and juice this morning. I too will miss the muesli and yoghurt start-up, but also accept this works primarily for the deceptively high sugar content. Porridge will be back on the scene as winter rolls in, and no matter what anyone says that will feature chopped banana, blueberries and honey. Bread's a goner, potatoes, rice, pasta all getting the cold shoulder (but not banished). Lean meats and fish are in, but I'm including lean bacon, too. Vegetables are in big time, the more the merrier, as are fresh fruits of course. After next weekend's golf/ debauch in Southern Ireland beer is also getting the heave-ho for a month.

There's no point in starting this unless I mean to go all the way, hence the plan to keep taking coffee (without sugar) and the occasional pasta or rice dish. It can't be too austere else I'll pack it in after a week. If I want to get anywhere near PBs next year in the full and the half I'll need to drop around ten kilos. It's daunting, I'm not looking forward to the process, but I do aim to keep that 'before' photo close at hand, for those days when doubt rises and resolve pulls the duvet over its head. I am the walrus, and I'm a big bugger at that.