January 2015

[marathondan]

As the marathon campaign is now underway, it's time to remind any newcomers, the senile, and the downright (and understandably) uninterested, of the ground rules for the training. It's Dan's Plan, the Marathon Manifesto, the Danifesto.

1. The event ("The Event") shall be the London Marathon 2015.

2. The charity shall be Scope, as I have failed to turn up for the last two events that I pledged to fundraise for them.

3. The fundraising target shall be £2000 ("Two Large"). I'm taking an ever-decreasing interest in my career, but let's hope I still have a few well-off and generous contacts. (As an aside: if I make this target, the training runs earn about £25 per hour, which is a nice motivator.)

4. The weekly number of runs shall be three (3). Three shall be the number of runs. Thus the risk of injury shall be maximally mitigated.

5. The runs shall comprise the Interval Session, the Tempo Session and the Long Run.

6. Thus the mantra shall be Less Is More.

7. Runs shall not take place on consecutive days.

8. The training shall not interfere with family life.

9. The following shall be stretched after every run: calves, quads, hamstrings, back.

10. Runs shall be conducted on grass wherever possible. Refer to earlier clause regarding injury mitigation. Notwithstanding, at least one long run shall be conducted on tarmac, to mitigate the condition known as "raw hamburger quads". 

11. In case of achilles problems, apply eccentric loading and massage.

12. The Event shall be conducted in Fancy Dress ("The Humiliation" aka "The Desperate Attention Seeking" aka "I Love It Really"). The form thereof shall be determined at a later date. The purpose of the Fancy Dress shall be to maximise the sponsorship by means of "taking it to the next level". This is easier than the real "taking it to the next level" i.e. trying to run faster.

13. The Training is the hard work. The Event (aka "A Million People Cheering Me All Morning") is the reward.