Murderous March

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Actually ran (rather than jogged) my 5km today! I felt well enough to test out the knees and shins that have caused me so much grief in recent weeks, and so hit the treadmill at something approaching my more usual training pace. And it went well! Tomorrow will be the true test of course, but I feel well enough after the run to be reasonably confident of no great delayed negative reactions. Famous last words perhaps, but heck, one has to be positive at times such as these.

I think my recovery program of running very slowly every second day, and augmenting it with lots of walking (I'm averaging 8km per day) has got me through the worst of it.

Whether it's enough to negate the need for orthotics or not is something only time will tell. But I have already sussed out a good running podiatrist (a current sub 2:30 marathoner) should the need arise.

I might even have a tiny celebratory drink tonight.

Cheers

[Sweder]

I might even have a tiny celebratory drink tonight.
Cheers

I'm not so sure that's a good idea, MLCMan -
oh, hang on - there's the sound of distant hooves and the 5-bar gate banging in the wind . . .

[ljs]

Ahh it is nice to see a decent bottle of lager, thanks MLCM Although it would be better to have been the person who drank it. Having just return from the land of miller light etc I really felt the need for a decent lager/bitter at the weekend. Two things stopped me, the landlord had run out of directors and the small issue of 15 miles to be run on Sunday. I was good in the end as I didn't fancy the other bitters nearly as much :-) Did the 15 miles in 2.03.

[Antonio247]

I´m glad you´re feeeling better, MLCM.

Good luck with your test!

Regards

Antonio

[Riazor Blue]

This is particularly upsetting for me, Grolsch is brewn in the town where I was born, it was the stuff I was brought up on. Still my preferred lager, although less keen on the stuff that is brewn with the same label on these shores :-) I have to side with Sweder on the black gold for non-lager refreshments. With training I haven't had a decent pint for ages :-(

Ijs, that must have been upsetting. Do you remember though when the firework factory next door to Grolsch blew up? When was it... 1997? The explosion also blew up the brewery and they had to borrow a brewery down Sout near Maastricht. Now that must have been upsetting.

[ljs]

Yep Riazor, my parents live about 15k away and I have family who lost their house and family of one of the firefighters who lost his life. It flatened the entire area, I used to cycle past the factory daily on my way to school. It looked like a warzone for a long time. And yes the grolsch flow suffered quite badly as well

[Seafront Plodder]

.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Three Aussie guys were working on a high-rise building project - Andy, Bruce and Kevin. Andy falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Kevin says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Kev?"

"Andy's wife gave it to me."

Bruce replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

"Well not exactly," Kevin said. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Andy's widow'. She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.' And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

OK I admit it – the positive vibes of my last post-run missive were woefully premature. And while the return of painful shin syndrome didn’t stop me running again yesterday, I am this evening reduced to consuming several rather delectable glasses of Sweder Brew to negate the pain and to think of something else actually worth writing about.
.
.
.

OK so that didn’t work out either.

.
.
.

[engage boring drunken rambling mode]

So, why run? Why actually am I doing this?

Stuffed if I know to be honest. Apart from the odd endorphin buzz, which I could replicate with far less expensive drugs (when you include the cost of running gear, treadmills, and physiotherapy bills that is), running seems an almost pointless and expensive activity.

However, as we all know, whether the reasons are valid or not, it’s bloody addictive, so we do it. Why the hell do we have to have reasons for everything anyway?

But I will say this... a funny thing happens when I am running. I get to thinking about the world and I see it through rather different eyes when I’m on the treadmill pounding out profits for Asics or Addidas. Now I’d be the last person to want to be considered conventional or conservative, but I find myself thinking things like this thought from my last run yesterday: Am I the only person to find kids’ television bizarre? I see things such as a pair of talking bananas wearing bicycle helmets, or strange, fat, inane, multi-coloured blobs prancing around my TV screen and I feel sure the world has gone completely surrealistic. I swear the '60s acid set is bland in comparison with children’s’ television of the 21st century. If you thought Magic Roundabout in the 1970s was a little strange, try watching TV about 4 o’clock any current weekday afternoon.

Actually surrealism seems to hit me in waves. In the space of one week recently I discovered a friend of mine has a morbid and uncontrollable fear of clowns (coloraphobia) – which also explained why she never went to McDonalds; I also met a bloke who set a goat loose in a house because he couldn’t get his bond back from the landlord; and even more strangely later found out that this is in fact quite common; and I discovered a workmate of mine can’t go out in the sun because it makes him sneeze; and even that the only candidate in my local government election that I thought made any sense is actually standing for The Whacko Minority Party.

So. Anyway. I told you all that to tell you this:

This morning I saw an astonishing thing – I actually witnessed a bloke helping an old lady to cross the street. What was astonishing was not the act itself, but the fact that I couldn’t remember when I had last seen this simple act of innocent kindness before. Many years ago it would seem. And I wondered why is it so? Have we become such an aggressive, cynical society, that people don’t help others to cross the street anymore? Or is it simply that old ladies don’t need to, or are afraid to ask for help these days?

And I got to thinking that perhaps there is some connection between surrealistic childrens’ television programming, bizarre minority political parties, old ladies crossing streets and my seeming inability to understand why I find this running thing so damn addictive.

But that’s stupid: there can’t be a connection. If Andy breaks 5 hours in Zurich, will the Telly Tubbies be moved to dispense with their lard suits and start telling kids things they actually want to hear? If Seafront Plodder gives in to his darker side and enters another marathon, will school kids wash out their fluro green hair dye and give up their seats on buses for the elderly? No, of course not.

And yet…

We live in an increasingly mad world. Often we fight it, but why? Perhaps insanity, and the total abrogation of responsibility is a kind of western nirvana? An existence free of the necessity to feel guilty about anything is immensely attractive in a society basically despairing for meaning. Syd Barrett, the genius behind Pink Floyd famously fled society after their first album, disappearing to live an anonymous life in a basement somewhere. When he unexpectedly reappeared years later during the recording of “Wish You Were Here”, he was incredibly fat and bald to the point where the band didn’t even recognise him. When he was asked how he’d gotten into that state he said “I have a very big fridge at home and have been eating a lot of pork chops” and then he left, not to be seen again for another umpteen years.

These are the things that I think about when I’m running. And then doubly so after a couple of beers. And trebly so if Andy’s also been writing his metaphysical stuff here on RC.

Running is a base thing. Brings us, or perhaps I should personalise this and say it brings me back to my core physical being. From that platform, I can impartially observe the world and its goings on without all the associated cultural bullshit that I usually use to filter everything. And so suddenly, I see kids TV as the surrealistic soul-destroying rubbish it is, rather than seeing it through my professional eyes actually working in the TV and radio industry. Interesting, but ultimately it raises more questions than it answers.

And in the end, there’s nothing for it but to go for another run. Running is relatively simple to understand compared to the complexities of modern society. It’s just something I do, and it doesn’t need any explanation or reason other than it’s therapy. And if I couldn’t run, maybe I’d go and live in a basement too.

[/disengage boring drunken rambling mode]

And that’s why I’m not going to let shin splints stop me running.

Thank you for listening.

[El Gordo]

Excellent ramble. You should consider writing a self-help manual. I'd buy it...

Seriously, there are truths here. I agree totally that running is, or can be, a purgatory activity. We've all expressed this before in a number of different ways. The reconnection with our environment and the landscape is a different facet of the same phenomenon, namely of seeing the familiar in an unfamiliar way. Or of re-seeing the familiar in the way we once saw it, but forgotten about, in an act of deep-rooted rediscovery.

It is the world laid bare.

And coincidentally or not, these are precisely the same sensations that LSD... is said to... induce. I seem to remember writing that running a marathon is like LSD for grown-ups, or similar. Apparently.

Are pork chops that fattening then?

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Are pork chops that fattening then?

Apparently

[Sweder]

[SIZE="5"][/SIZE]

This morning I saw an astonishing thing – I actually witnessed a bloke helping an old lady to cross the street. What was astonishing was not the act itself, but the fact that I couldn’t remember when I had last seen this simple act of innocent kindness before.

What's astonishing is that you didn'ae jump into your car and run 'em both down.
I mean, if you got both of 'em that's triple bonus points, right?

Err . . . I'll get me driving gloves . . .


Nice post MLCMan.
You should have a drunken ramble more often.
Oh yes . . .



[SIZE="5"]. . . go easy on that bloody Sweder Brew![/SIZE]
I'd like to get to at least taste the bastard . . .

[marathondan]

And coincidentally or not, these are precisely the same sensations that LSD... is said to... induce. I seem to remember writing that running a marathon is like LSD for grown-ups, or similar. Apparently.

Andy, I don't think MLCM actually saw the talking bananas wearing bicycle helmets while he was out running.

Although let's face it, plenty of people have reported seeing rhinos in the street, walking telephone boxes, etc, while running marathons. Some even claim to have turned into such things.

Also, the Runner's World training schedules call for LSD every Sunday. (I know, that joke's been done to death already.)

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

[SIZE="5"][/SIZE]
What's astonishing is that you didn'ae jump into your car and run 'em both down. I mean, if you got both of 'em that's triple bonus points, right?

Yes, very astute of you to realise that it was triple points day. The reason, I'm sad to say, that I didn't take such a course of action was that some little time earlier, I had an altercation (also in the pursuit of points) in which I came out rather worse than my opponent...



Until such time as the repairs are complete, I am reduced to pedestrianism

[SIZE="5"][/SIZE]
[SIZE="5"]. . . go easy on that bloody Sweder Brew![/SIZE]
I'd like to get to at least taste the bastard . . .

Yes, yes. I'll see what I can do... my patience however, is inversely proportional to my thirst; and my mother always told me to not make promises I couldn't keep. Therefore... well, let's say I'll keep you posted.

Of course, I could always make some more

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Andy, I don't think MLCM actually saw the talking bananas wearing bicycle helmets while he was out running.

Well I have been known to watch telly whilst on the treadmill, but thus far can honestly say I've not been reduced to watching childrens' programmes... and probably won't until they have the decency to repeat Magic Roundabout

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Still I run. Another slow 5km this afternoon, which means at least that I'm getting some "reasonable" mileage done on a consistent basis. There's always something to be positive about with each run, even if the shin splints are being rather persistent. So in the main, I am still happy.

I was rather surprised by the response to my earlier drunken surrealism posting. A multitude of PMs and emails - in the main empathic (is that a word?) - leaves me thinking most of us here at RC are just as puzzled as each other about the world and our place in it, and our view of it as runners.

Certainly there seems to be a strong undercurrent of support for running and beer drinking; not necessarily simultaneously nor in that order, but like yin and yang, the two, whilst seemingly in opposition, are both requisite for a sustainable, well balanced running habit.

And to prove the point, and it being St.Patrick's Day, I went for my run this afternoon before retiring to a local establishment for pints of Guinness and Caffreys, a little live Irish folk music (U2 were unavailable apparently), and general Irish-like merriment... er, which mostly involved wearing silly green visors (free with every four pints of the G) and drinking more of the aforementioned Guinness and Caffreys

Rather strange behaviour really, as there isn't an ounce of Irish blood in me anywhere. Oh well, I don't suppose they mind

[El Gordo]

By contrast, my Irish credentials are unpeckable. Both my parents are Oirish, so I feel, sigh, obliged to meander up the road this evening to uphold the tradition, and of course meander a bit more wildly on the way back.

This is supposed to be my peak week for mileage; the marathon taper officially starts next week. I say "officially" because unofficially, it seems to have started with the Almeria Half.

Oh well.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

By contrast, my Irish credentials are unpeckable. Both my parents are Oirish, so I feel, sigh, obliged to meander up the road this evening to uphold the tradition, and of course meander a bit more wildly on the way back.

...which reminds me of another joke:

An Irishman dies and goes to Heaven. St. Peter says heaven is really crowded now and if he wants to get in he must first answer 3 questions.

"All right, that's fair. What's the first question?"

St. Peter says, "How many days of the week contain a T?"

The Irishman thinks a while and then says, "6"

St. Peter says, "Six. How do you get six?"

The Irishman says, "Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, yesterday, today, and tomorrow."

St. Peter says, "OK I'll let you have that one. But the next one is a little bit harder. How many seconds are there in a year."

The Irishman thins a bit more and then says, "Twelve."

St. Peter wants to know how he got that., "January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc."

St. Peter says, "OK I'll let you have that one too. But the last one is really hard. What is God's first name.?"

The Irishman thinks for a long time and finally says, "OK I think I've got that one too. His first name is Andy."

St. Peter is really perplexed at this one. He says to the Irishman, "ANDY. How in the world did you get Andy."

The Irishman says, "From the hymn. 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me"

[El Gordo]

But why did that... remind you of that... ???

[El Gordo]

Oh hang on....

OK.

Ignore me.