What a terrible end to the football season, eh?
With Rooney and possibly Owen out of the World Cup, we've had it. Chelsea purchase the Premiership again.
QPR have just put 14 players on the transfer list, amid rumours of administration. And I'm just a couple of hours away from Reading - QPR, where no doubt I'll watch my team fail to win for the 12th successive game, leaving us 4th bottom, all to the squeaky soundtrack of the jubilation of 23,000 fairweather Reading fans.
There must be a better life than this. I'm a nailed-on atheist, as I must have mentioned. Come on god, I dare you. Prove to me that you exist. Let QPR win today, and save a miserable sinner from the arms of the devil. You know it's worth it. And if we lose, I can at least give away my ticket for the afterlife without fear.
OK, it's a deal.