200708

[El Gordo]

I'm a fraud, and everything is pretty shit.

My running is patchy. Or let's be truthful and call it non-existent. Even worse, I can't write anymore. I've said nothing interesting for months. Perhaps years.

I've got a marathon to do in less than 3 months. That's better than "less than 2 months", and a lot better than.... (but you get the idea).

It doesn't even seem to be depression. I'm feeling as happy as a QPR fan can feel on the cusp of a new season. This is as good as it gets.

It's more like pitifully... self-pitying, adolescent boredom.

After a good week last week, ending in the splendid boys' day out in Lewes, I've done nowt. Drunk some beer and some wine, eaten nuts and chocolate, and drifted around the garden, crushed by a sense of unfulfilled intention.

Tomorrow, tomorrow. Let's be new again. A new life in a different world.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

[INDENT][/INDENT]

[Sweder]

Right matey, best get you down here for some more hill work, send you out with Moyleman for a few Sunday morning shake-em-ups What's that term? 'Beasting'. Yep, definitely time for some of that.

Funny, I thought Saturday might be a springboard for you. It obviously was, but into a deep pool of beer and chocolate. For me it proved something quite different. I'm out early every morning and fighting the urge to run every night when I get home. Just last week I was wailing about not having a near future target, now I don't need one; I've found something else, though I'm not sure what it is yet. The dogs are happy anyway.

This running malarkey's a funny old business

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

This running malarkey's a funny old business

It's mid-life, that's what it is. Combined with the lunacy of running, it's a dangerous game. A sort of slightly older person's extreme sport, but one that doesn't invalidate your life insurance.

[Nick]

It doesn't even seem to be depression. I'm feeling as happy as a QPR fan can feel on the cusp of a new season. This is as good as it gets.

It's more like pitifully... self-pitying, adolescent boredom.

It could be worse. You could be a Watford fan on the cusp of a new season. I had the misfortune of watching them play the MK dons earlier this week in a dire 0-0 draw. Its going to be a long season.

As for running - well July was a bit of a set back. I entered the month with some optimism, but managed to step off the second rung of a ladder when I thought I was on the first rung, and jarred my back.That took a couple of weeks to put right and the I got a nasty virus that kept me in bed for a further couple of weeks. So I recorded 3 miles for the whole of July.

Andy - take your time and work through it, you'll come out of the other end eventually and be better foir it.

[El Gordo]

managed to step off the second rung of a ladder when I thought I was on the first rung,

Thanks Nick -- excellent advice, and appreciated.

I tend to have the opposite problem though, and reach for that second rung thinking I'm on the first, while in fact I'm still on the ground!

I take it you didn't do the MK Half?

[Antonio247]

Well, I´m lazy in summer but it is usually very hot to go for a run here except early in the morning or late in the evening. Besides, I think it is good to relax a little so that you can start the new season more motivated and it is a good way to avoid injuries. I´ve also gained a few kilos. All this happens to me every year.

As for the running club, I think it would be great to have a virtual club so that we can all be in touch through the website. It would be fantastic if we could take part in different races although it would be really difficult for all the members to take part even in just one race all toghether every year due to the great variety of countries and continents we all come from and each member´s circumstances.

Best of luck

Antonio

[El Gordo]

Thanks Antonio, great to hear from you.

In fact, I think you said something really interesting. I agree that summer is not a great time to run. I've only once done an autumn marathon before (Chicago, 2002) but I remember finding it tough to feel motivated to run through the summer.

I agree that people like Sweder and Moyleman are very very weird. Excellent point.



You're right that it's impossible for us all to take part in the same race but the Almeria Half is about the closest we'll come to such a race, so just accept that in this global running club, you'll have to put up with the inconvenience of having to walk a few hundred metres to the start line...

[Antonio247]

You're right that it's impossible for us all to take part in the same race but the Almeria Half is about the closest we'll come to such a race, so just accept that in this global running club, you'll have to put up with the inconvenience of having to walk a few hundred metres to the start line...

I really enjoy having you here in my local half and sharing a lot of moments with all of you.

I´ve really enjoyed your Chicago marathon report. It is wonderfully written with some intrigue and with the images of other people taking part or helping, cheering, etc. It leaves me the feelling that I should take part at another marathon next year. It could be.


Regards

Antonio

[El Gordo]

I really enjoy having you here in my local half and sharing a lot of moments with all of you.

I´ve really enjoyed your Chicago marathon report. It is wonderfully written with some intrigue and with the images of other people taking part or helping, cheering, etc. It leaves me the feelling that I should take part at another marathon next year. It could be.


Regards

Antonio

Thanks Antonio. I took the report down again.

Anyway, my running kit is laid out ready for the morning. The plan is to wake up and get out there.

It has to be done.

Today's nutritional preparation for an athletic week:

Breakfast -- bacon sandwich
No lunch
Supper -- McDonalds Big Mac, large fries and large Rollo shake.

No fruit, no veg.

But no alcohol at least, so I have a fighting chance...

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Breakfast -- bacon sandwich
No lunch
Supper -- McDonalds Big Mac, large fries and large Rollo shake.

That's not a balanced diet Andy. There are no peanuts.

[El Gordo]

That's not a balanced diet Andy. There are no peanuts.

There were plenty the day before. And crisps and chocolate and beer and....

And I didn't get up to run this morning. There's always this evening....

[Sweder]

And I didn't get up to run this morning. There's always this evening....

The silence is deafening.
Say it ain't so, Joe . . .

[El Gordo]

Say it ain't so, Joe . . .

It ain't so.

But not a wholly wasted day. Let's call it a detox day. Fruit for breakfast, tuna salad for lunch, baked potato and more salad for dinner, with lots of water and almost no caffeine through the day.

I'm beginning to feel normal after a week of feeling bad about everything.

But I didn't run.

Tomorrow morning, early. I'll wake, and feeling great, will go out for a few miles. All my troubles will be over.

[El Gordo]

Woke at 5 a.m., and decided this was just too early.

Woke again at 7:58 and decided this was just too late.

Now 18:47. Do I jump in teh car and join up with the running for an appalling 5 miles of misery...?

I have 8 minutes to decide.

[Seafront Plodder]

Well?



.........or not so well?

[El Gordo]

At last. Something to write home about.

3.5 miles doesn't sound much, but it was hilly and airless. Add to that my 9 days of abstinence (running abstinence, that is -- unfortunately not the alcohol and chocolate variety), and this was always going to knacker me.

Though I say it myself, I sensed I must have looked somewhat dapper in my yellow club singlet and matching cap. I set off with the usual medium-to-slow group. We're a strange mixture. A few crusty old men like me, plus a bevy of well-rounded young women in lycra. These club runs certainly get the old heart-rate up.

I'm often surprised by the delights concealed in the fringes of Reading. Hidden behind the modern, chavvy estates, are some startlingly wild patches of undulating countryside. I probably still wouldn't know they existed if it wasn't for these occasional club runs.

Tonight's gave me yet another new discovery. Louse Hill doesn't sound idyllic, but it turned out to be better than its billing. The first two or three hundred panting yards took us up a steep woodland track. Through the wet summer, this would have been a murderously slippery yomp through deep mud. Tonight it was a quintessential English woodland in high summer. Ideal for strolling through on the way to a hilltop pub. My train of thought led me to the Bell at Aldworth, one of the finest pubs in the county, and in England. (One of many articles)

It's a while since I've supped at the Bell, and I thought how pleasant it would be to round up a few of the RC gang one day to run up the hill from Streatley to Aldworth, probably 4 miles or so, and finish at the Bell for a few bevies. Or perhaps if we were in a hurry, we could forget the run bit.

But anyway, Louse Hill (which is nowhere near Aldworth, it must be said), was a steep climb, though not too long, and eventually led to a long, open lope across the brow of the hill, from where a splendid vista of... Reading was available. Not the most picturesque of towns, but when you have it fixed in the middle distance, the glistening Thames wrapped round it like a festive ribbon, it seems not quite so bad after all.

It was while peering over at this view that my left foot landed in a hole, encouraging me to issue a great throaty cry to the still evening air. A tumult of birds crashed through the trees in shock, and my fellow runners squealed in sympathy and decelerated. But I have to conceded that my reaction wasn't quite commensurate with the injury. Not a serious twist by by any means, but just mildly painful enough to be annoyingly uncomfortable for the remaining two miles or so.

Apart from admiring the scenery, both human and pastoral, I took the opportunity of this largely peaceful outing to mull over my recent state of mind. I think I must be a bit like the stock market -- I don't mind if things are good or bad, because I know how to deal with these states. It's uncertainty I dislike.

This job application has proceeded well. I think. Without wanting to tempt fate, I think the job is mine if I want it -- subject to references and my own approval. Trouble is, I've had nothing in writing, so I don't know enough detail to be sure it's the right move. And the HR supremo has just gone on holiday, so it may be a while yet before I'm in a position to make a decision.

In the meantime, it must be good for my mental and physical health to get back in the running groove. I've been feeling fatigued recently, and constantly sleepy. Maybe it's something to do with the cricket season. But it was good to get out this evening, and I must try to keep it going.

Just at the moment my motivation isn't great though. For running or writing, or for doing all this paperwork that's piling up next to me. VAT, income tax, things to sign and approve. Just stuff to deal with. Why is it suddenly so hard? I'll snap out of it soon enough, and I'm sufficiently old now to know that it's something for me to just decide to do, before doing it. No point boring everyone else about it. Just get it done, mate.

But first I must go to bed. I need sleep.

And track du jour? It has to be the track through the woods on Louse Hill. The prize was always there, and always will be. All you have to do to win it is be willing to turn up and accept it in person.

(Edited -- Hmmm. Does that thought drag me a furlong, nay a perch, nay a farthing's breadth closer to comprehending this running lark? I fear it might.

[Mid Life Crisis Marathon Man]

Does that thought move me a centimetre closer to understanding this running lark?

Careful Andy, that's metric talk you'd be spouting there.

[El Gordo]

Careful Andy, that's metric talk you'd be spouting there.

Crikey, that was close. Thanks for the tip-off. (Suitably edited.)

[El Gordo]

4.4 miles this evening with the running club. Down the hill to the river, a couple of miles along the Thames in the gloaming, then a long and fatiguing haul back up the hill. The uphill bit seemed 5 times as long as the down.

Knackered. Must sleep.