Big Cup, Small Crowd

[Sweder]

Spare a thought for the few 'non-neutrals' gathering around old wirelesses and arcane industrial Soviet-style valve-driven tellies tonight. Whilst all you unbelievers sit back in the hope that Drogba and Ronaldo become inextricably fused in some mass dive-a-thon in the first five minutes some of us will be biting their quicks down to the bone as their team strives to win Big Cup in front of a rumoured to be less-than-capacity crowd.

Whilst the sight of Frank Lampard kissing his ring (yuck!) or Rio Ferdinand attempting to play fist-pumping leap-frog with his team-mates (oo-err!) might bring bile dangerously close to the surface some of us will be hoping to see one rather than the other tonight.

Whatever happens I'll predict:

Lord Ferg to remain at the helm of Good Ship Rowdie next term.
Avram Grant will be down the job cente.
Drogba's doing one from West Larndarn, as is Pique from the Wetlands.
John Terry will still look like a (nasty) bulldog chewing a wasp.
Wayne Rooney will punch someone (irrespective of the outcome).

Me? I'll be slumped in the arms of a most agreeable Rioja in a coastal bar somewhere north of Lloret de Mar praying that there are no other Brits anywhere near the place.