World Cup Nonsense

[Sweder]

Well-ah . . . that was fun, wasn’t it?

I know why England look poor in the second half of matches . . .
Opposition coaches not only work out our game plan during the first half, they know we’re incapable of changing in the second. Witness the snuffing out of Joe Cole after the break. He tormented Sweden for 45 minutes only to apparently disappear later on – apart from his delicious chip for Gerrard’s excellent header.

Peter Crouch . . . I’m sorry, I can’t warm to the big lad.
I really tried tonight. He floated across Sweden’s box like a discarded Pashmina on a blustery day, a spectre of a man trapped in a parallel dimension, miles off the pace, penalised for every other arial challenge. Granted, the industrious Swedes were not ideal opposition for a Duncan Ferguson-lite; we all know only too well that England are a couple of strikers short of a World Cup team and boy how the holes in our petticoats showed tonight.

Captain, my captain! Where the fcuk were you tonight?
Gerrard and Lampard will play just fine together . . . they just need Dead-ball Billboard Boy to have a rest. I’ve been a loyal supporter of the Lad from Leytonstone over the years but I struggled to defend him tonight. My eleven year-old daughter was moved to ask ‘where does David Beckham play on the pitch?’
Anywhere he feels like, apparently, even when he’s in a semi-coma.

[SIZE="3"]BUT[/SIZE]
We topped the group
We avoided the hosts
AND
Theo Walcott is still as fresh as a daisy!

I’m off to study my Lonely Planet Guide to Ecuador . . .