Sunday, 19:30 Buon giorno. Just occasionally, it’s hard to imagine yourself happier. Or is that too controversial an idea for this world? As a voracious consumer of news, I feel under constant pressure to feel miserable. It pisses me off. Let’s follow our instincts, and laugh at the absurdity of it all. The madness is universal and omnipresent — though its intrinsic qualities are revealed only gradually, it seems.… READ MORE.... …
Month: April 2007
It’s all going too well now: I find myself scouring the horizon, wondering where exactly the shipwreck will happen. The coast of Sicily looks a decent bet. The telescope moves from smoky bars showing the Champions League semi-finals, to quaint ristoranti overflowing with hearty regional specialities. How long could I stay on my feet in a place like that, surviving the temptation to tackle a plate of cassata, washed down with a very large glass of one of the island’s famous dessert wines?… READ MORE.... …
According to “experts at Leeds University”, the formula for the perfect bacon sandwich is: N = C + {fb (cm) . fb (tc)} + fb (Ts) + fc . ta where N = force in Newtons required to break the cooked bacon, fb = function of the bacon type, fc = function of the condiment/filling effect, Ts = serving temperature, tc = cooking time, ta = time or duration of application of condiment/filling, cm = cooking method, C=Newtons required to break uncooked bacon.… READ MORE.... …
It’s been a good Friday alright: weather warm and sunny — just right for a few hours in the garden, tackling the grass for the first time this year. We grumble about winter, but at least you don’t have to devote half your free time wrestling with horticultural insurgents, gatecrashing your life to suffocate your idyll. Bugger off you bullying bastards — who invited you?… READ MORE.... …