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World Cup Nonsense
07-06-2006, 11:20 AM,
#1
World Cup Nonsense
In the spirit of humbug and all things Colemanballs, let us come together in celebration of the tripe, faux pas and utter nonesense that will fill our papers, TV screens, i-pods and radios over the next few weeks.

To get the ball rolling (guffaw) I offer an extract from BBC Sport Online today:

England goalkeeper Paul Robinson also sees the tournament as a defining moment, both professionally and personally.
He said: "This is a proud moment for me as a football and as a person. Every time I pull on an England shirt it fills me with a lot of pride.


Huzzah!

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph

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07-06-2006, 12:06 PM,
#2
World Cup Nonsense
We won't win if Rooney isn't playing - and that will be Beckham's fault.

Why? Well when Sven told Rooney they would give him a Cortizone Injection, Beckham objected.

.




.





.





.





.


Beckham said if Rooney's getting a new car, he wants one too.
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07-06-2006, 01:00 PM,
#3
World Cup Nonsense
David Baddiel (yes that one) reckons David James should have a new nickname as 'Calamity' is a bit harsh and unlikely to boost his confidence.

He's suggested 'Will Young'.
Asked why he said 'the thing they have in common is you wish they hadn't come out.'
Nice.

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph

Reply
07-06-2006, 03:04 PM,
#4
World Cup Nonsense
I remember David James playing at Upton Park for many a long year.

His performances were always characterised by a string of outstandingly brilliant saves, interspersed with outstandingly awful errors. West Ham were relegated with him in goal (frequently this optimistic description actually saw him playing in left central midfield and up to 40 yards off his goal line).

He then left the club, stating that a player of his stature needed to keep playing in the Premiership. Where did he go ? Manchester City. Have they done well with him in goal ? Absolutely not.

In the interim, West Ham were promoted and reached the FA Cup final with a somewhat ramshackle goalkeeping roster shared between 20 year old Stephen Bywater and 40 year old Shaka Hislop. Both competent, but neither outstanding in comparison with the international greats. West Ham had hoped to improve their goalkeeping credentials with the acquisition of Roy Carroll, but he limped off the field almost as soon as he arrived. It hasn't held West Ham back, or at least not until a recent penalty shoot-out where the Liverpool goalkeeper took the unusual step of making several penalty saves from the 6 yard line.

But enough of such pointless Wengeresque whingeing, and back to David James. In the circumstances, it looks absolutely critical to me for England's survival that Robinson stays fully fit for the duration of the tournament. Unless we need a left sided midfielder, playing in goal.
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07-06-2006, 06:16 PM,
#5
World Cup Nonsense
On the subject of dodgy 'keepers, it's worth remembering that France took the title in '98 with Fabien Barthez between the sticks Eek

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph

Reply
07-06-2006, 06:20 PM,
#6
World Cup Nonsense
Can you please all kindly remember, while mocking the weak and pathetic space fillers churned out by an exhausted and fatigued press pack over the course of the next five weeks, that sometimes, confronted with a monosyllabic player and a dead dog of a game, a bit of space filling is all we can manage!!

If the battle to win the trophy is hard and arduous, it's often a walk in the park compared to the fight to find anything interesting to say about every tiny detail of that struggle... [Image: icon10.gif]

Right, that's my bid to persuade you all that watching football for a month is actually a job of work. Did I convince anyone?

Thought not. Least of all, myself... [Image: icon10.gif]
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07-06-2006, 06:38 PM,
#7
World Cup Nonsense
Wayne Rooney's OUT Eek Eek Eek













[SIZE="1"]of hospital . . .[/SIZE]

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph

Reply
07-06-2006, 07:13 PM,
#8
World Cup Nonsense
Sweder Wrote:Wayne Rooney's OUT Eek Eek Eek

[SIZE="1"]of hospital . . .[/SIZE]


Fair gave me a turn that did.

I made my first ever spread bet the other day -- on Rooney's fitness. If he doesn't play I lose £99. If he does go to Germany, I get £1 for every minute over 99 he plays during the tournament.

Why can't they make that bloomin' announcement.....?

What's happened to Marathondan's idea about the WC fantasy league? Are we doing it? I'll have a look to see if anyone's signed up.
El Gordo

Great things are done when men and mountains meet.
Reply
07-06-2006, 07:15 PM,
#9
World Cup Nonsense
MickCollins Wrote:Can you please all kindly remember, while mocking the weak and pathetic space fillers churned out by an exhausted and fatigued press pack over the course of the next five weeks, that sometimes, confronted with a monosyllabic player and a dead dog of a game, a bit of space filling is all we can manage!!

If the battle to win the trophy is hard and arduous, it's often a walk in the park compared to the fight to find anything interesting to say about every tiny detail of that struggle... [Image: icon10.gif]

Right, that's my bid to persuade you all that watching football for a month is actually a job of work. Did I convince anyone?

Thought not. Least of all, myself... [Image: icon10.gif]

OK Mick, serious question: what are you expected to do during the World Cup....? Are you going out there?
El Gordo

Great things are done when men and mountains meet.
Reply
07-06-2006, 07:20 PM,
#10
World Cup Nonsense
On the subject of head-scratching journalism, I think the current BBC website sports headline is rather curious:

'Decisive' Rooney decision coming

What's a decisive decision......? Big Grin
El Gordo

Great things are done when men and mountains meet.
Reply
07-06-2006, 07:30 PM,
#11
World Cup Nonsense
[warming to the subject]

And how can Sven be "300% certain" that Rooney will play???

I know this is a linguistic lost cause, but how can this be? Has anyone else noticed the percentage inflation that's been ravaging the world for a few years now? For a long time we were merely 100% sure about things. Then it became 101% for a while before edging up to 110%, where it remained for a long time.

Then after brief stops at 120% and 200%, we now reach 300%.

Where's it all going to end???? I can foresee disaster ahead. Some are predicting a mere correction during the summer but I'm hoping for a cataclysmic crash back down towards 110% by the start of the new season.

We need some sanity back in the language market.
El Gordo

Great things are done when men and mountains meet.
Reply
07-06-2006, 07:46 PM,
#12
World Cup Nonsense
Andy

It's well documented that we've not beaten Sweden since 1968. Have you ever asked yourself why?

It's precisely the "there can never be more than 100%" brigade that are responsible for our dismal showings against our nordic cousins.

Sven is spot on.... probably.Wink
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07-06-2006, 08:51 PM,
#13
World Cup Nonsense
andy Wrote:And how can Sven be "300% certain" that Rooney will play???
In fairness to Mr Burns - sorry, Eriksson - the '300%' remark was attributed to Rooney himself, as in
Well, err, Wayne tells me he is 300% sure he will play. Pass the abacus, I err have just sold my ten millionth Playstation game . . .

I'm getting my Swede-bashing in early.
The overpaid (expletive deleted) might just go and win the blasted thing after all . . . imagine that, if you can. Some people just drift through life letting the plaudits and riches fall at their feet . . . good job I'm not bitter really Sad

Fantasy World Cup.
I've entered the Times and the Telegraph leagues. I'll happily enter Marathondan's league, too. I'll have to dig out his link . . .

Ok, signed up, but 'run time errors' abound so can't joing the Friends League yet. Also Po Faced C4 won't let you have a silly manager's moniker so when you eneter 'First name' and 'Surname' that's the name your team manager will get. Harumph.

Thursday morning: much better! Managed to log on and joing Dan's league on the C4 site. I'm now a 'pending' manager along with Peter Ward. Come on RCers, it's fun, it's free. Here's the link again. The access code for Dan's league is 4792

http://channel4.fantasyleague.com

The Roonster is on his way back to Baaden Baaden (I wonder if they have a lot of sheep there?) so it looks like Andy's bet, like the Wonderkid himself, still has legs. Unlike poor Djibril Cisse. Sounds like an awful injury (tonight for France against China), much like the one he suffered for Liverpool two years ago. 'Multiple fractures just above the ankle'. Ouch. It's the other leg . . . must have dodgy bones. It's a great shame; with him in the squad the French had a better than even chance of 'doing a Holland' and having a proper public punch-up. Still, the promising news is it looks like Nicholas Anelka might take his place . . .

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph

Reply
07-06-2006, 09:09 PM,
#14
World Cup Nonsense
Wow, Wow, Wow, strictly speak it is the Netherlands. Yes I know we put Holland on our shirts but that is only the blooming western bit of the Netherlands, which is hard to take for this dutch boy from the east of the country.

Secondly, Van Basten has banned all punch ups etc. Nobody is allowed to write for any newspapers etc etc. Unlike England we didn't really have any injury worries until we played the soccaroos!! Three players were injured, they drafted in 2 players from the victorious U21 team who won the European cup.

Loyalties in the Smink household are divided, I will cheer on England of course but if England and Holland meet......
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07-06-2006, 09:22 PM,
#15
World Cup Nonsense
ljs Wrote:Loyalties in the Smink household are divided, I will cheer on England of course but if England and Holland meet......
yer goin' down, Clog-boy Big Grin

Err . . . that is, um, may the best team win, what?
Sorry about the Holland/ Netherlands thing. This is (I hope) a little-known but obviously vitally important fact. Glad to stand corrected, Netherlandic person Smile

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph

Reply
07-06-2006, 09:35 PM,
#16
World Cup Nonsense
ljs Wrote:Loyalties in the Smink household are divided, I will cheer on England of course but if England and Holland meet......

We trust in your sense of honour to do the decent thing, Luc, and respectfully cheer on your landlords.... :p

Argentina v Holland looks like a cracking game. Also looking forward to Brazil v Australia though the timing (2pm on Monday) is a bit unfortunate.

The BBC has a nice interactive predictor at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/spl/...fault.stm#
El Gordo

Great things are done when men and mountains meet.
Reply
08-06-2006, 07:58 AM,
#17
World Cup Nonsense
Sweder Wrote:yer goin' down, Clog-boy Big Grin

Yep, I said your writing was on a lyrical high, Sweder ... and that proves it.
Reply
08-06-2006, 08:15 AM,
#18
World Cup Nonsense
Hmm I am afraid that Sweder might be right. The players have been prevented from speaking out, however the coach of the U21 team that with luck won the EU cup did speak out. He said Huntelaar should be one of the strikers and that the Dutch Defence is rubish.

I really can't see the Dutch do well, be surprised if we get past the group stages. I hope differently of course, in my dreams, I will travel to the Netherlands on 9/7/06 to watch the clog boys play in the final and win it, aahh dreams Big Grin
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08-06-2006, 09:54 AM,
#19
World Cup Nonsense
andy Wrote:OK Mick, serious question: what are you expected to do during the World Cup....? Are you going out there?


I don't think I'm going to get out there, sadly, but will be dispatched to scan the wires for anything breaking while cooped up up London. It's a pity - I'd love to cover it live, as it would be my first one. My Dad's covering his tenth, but then again, he tends to command rather more column inches than me. We've never covered a major tournament together though, so it would have been nice...

No, unfortunately, I'm deputed to look for anything 'different', 'quirky' and a little bit 'interesting'. I'll try, through some stupid belief in doing things right, to find stuff that's a little bit 'highbrow' or at least mature, but I fear it'll be second rate injury tales and the same dreary nonsense by the time the second week arrives.

Do I sound embittered already? Just indulge and ignore me, all at the same time... :o
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08-06-2006, 12:41 PM,
#20
World Cup Nonsense
Is anybody going for a run from the marina this Sunday @ 9pm?
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