Mon 16 Dec 2002

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
4 bottles of port
2 cups of dried fruit

Method:
Sample the port to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the port again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it’s best to make sure the port is still OK.

Try another cup …. just in case

Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor. Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.

Sample the port to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt.

Check the port.

Now shift the lemon juice and schtrain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven and turn up the fridge.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the port and kick the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!